Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Labor Day

Well it's September, and I'm supposed to be officially off maternity leave. Only there's no work to go back too. Not only did my project get cancelled, but people are leaving the office like crazy. When people leave, they all feel compelled to write "goodbye" emails. Some are short and sweet, some are long and boring, and some just give shoutouts to random people like, "Hey Jill, remember that time we changed the toner, yeah that rocked." God.

So in case I leave - I feel I need to write a roughdraft of a goodbye letter. I mean, it has been 6 years, a proper goodbye would do, something like...

Dear "Generic Architecture Firm" Co-workers,
Thanks for 6 wonderful years. So many memories....

Like the time that the air conditioning unit over my desk rattled so badly I couldn't focus on my computer screen so I threw random objects at it until I got a pen stuck up there. What about the time I made the office guy unscrew all the lightbulbs on the second floor because I thought it was too bright? Uh - it's been 4 years, and I'm not even in the office, feel free to screw them back in if you like!

What about the time there was a wild peacock running around in the parking lot and people thought it was going to kill our office cat. Or when that guy brought a cake to the office Thanksgiving Party, and it had "HAPPY EASTER" written on it? How old was it? Who knows, you guys ate it anyway. Speaking of eating, what about when I sent an all office email that said, "Free donuts in the conference room," except there wasn't any donuts, I just wanted to get your attention regarding my deadline. Ha - hilarious.

Or maybe it was the time that co-worker brought his dog to work and it took a dump on the second floor. Or when that one guy went nuts and threatened to kill us all, no not THAT guy, the other one, silly!

Or what about when I went into Bossman X's office and said, "Please, for the love of god, fire me so I can move on with my life..." Well it's a darn good thing he didn't listen, or I wouldn't be sitting here at the same desk today. Thanks for the good times.
If you need to reach me you can contact me at:
justjenn@LATERBITCHES.com.

Jenn

I'll make sure the subject on that email is:
"free donuts in the conference room".

**ALL those things really happened.
You couldn't make that shit up if you tried.

2 Comments:

Blogger Leslie said...

You're HILARIOUS! I like the dog taking a dump image. God I wish something fun like that would happen at my work. I get boring things like roaming men with guns on campus. So passé.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004 6:58:00 PM  
Blogger Giao said...

Hilarious! It's true, you couldn't just make up the crazy antics people get up to in offices.

I hope your situation turns out the way you want it to!

Thursday, September 09, 2004 9:14:00 AM  

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