Monday, December 13, 2004

nightmare before christmas

The phone rang while I was watching tv. Apparently my dad had a stroke. I can't decide whether to dance a jig of joy or just keep watching Dodgeball.

I don't usually hold grudges, but in his case, forgiveness is something I cannot do. People keep telling me, let go of your anger. Well, ahem, put yourself in my shoes.

Let's say YOUR DAD had an affair with a family friend that was always over at the house. Then let's say - said mistress and YOUR DAD stole your whole family's life savings leaving both sets of grandparents - his own parents and his in-laws, on the brink of homelessness.

What if YOUR DAD pitted all your family members against each other, through a series of lies and blame, causing years of misunderstanding and grief? And what if YOUR DAD had the government take money from your mom's paycheck to pay for over $350,000 of penalties that HE accrued for digging out on his taxes? Then what if YOUR DAD left you homeless when a man came and repossed your house one day?

What if YOUR DAD stole money from a famous celebrity? What if this crime was so infamous that someone actually wrote a book about YOUR DAD?

What if the last time you talked to YOUR DAD he laughed at you for being angry, since "he did nothing wrong." And what if YOUR DAD didn't contact you for over 15 years and you only heard about his stroke because someone else happened to pass on the news?

Well, he's not your dad, he's mine, and he actually did all of those things. So would you forgive him if it was YOUR DAD? Probably, but you're a better person than me. Believe it or not I'm no longer angry. I actually just feel...nothing. Apparently the stroke was mild and he will recover, but I am setting aside a nice bright pink dress to wear for his funeral just in case. I'll be waiting, not angrily, not bitterly, just...waiting.

5 Comments:

Blogger foodiechickie said...

Oh I am so sorry!!!

Tuesday, December 14, 2004 7:25:00 AM  
Blogger Nanette said...

Jenn -

I think you're totally right to feel the way you do. Seriously. I know they say blood is thicker than water, but that doesn't mean you have to drown in it. (I say this so easily because I have a brother I don't talk to for various reasons.)

Nanette

Tuesday, December 14, 2004 9:07:00 AM  
Blogger Giao said...

Wow, Jenn!

That list of things your dad did is crazy! I seriously don't understand how a parent/son could do such things! I don't blame you for feeling the way you do.

Eeeee!

Tuesday, December 14, 2004 9:41:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know what you're getting for Chritsmas...a nice bright pink dress.

Friday, December 17, 2004 8:44:00 AM  
Blogger elizabeth said...

actually, i would feel the exact same thing if i found out my dad had a stroke. granted MINE didn't do near the same type of things, but just as bad.

so maybe i should go out and buy a pink dress too ;)

just stumbled upon your site and i love it :)

Friday, December 17, 2004 1:28:00 PM  

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