Thursday, September 30, 2004

short people


It's amazing how tall basketball players are. I saw Shaq and Yao Ming on Regis and Kelly the past few days.

Yao Ming said his dad is 6'10" and his mom (good lord) is 6'2". What the....is it any wonder that my kid is in the 10th percentile for child growth?

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

my boy likes to party all the time


As October approaches, so do the fall weddings. Now, most everyone I know is married or well on their way. Then there are the few of us with newborns, THEN there are those way ahead who have kid number two! Yikes, when did we all grow up?

Speaking of growing up - the kid turns one years old in a few months. What the...? Which means, by default - we HAVE to do a big one year birthday party. This is not my rule, and in fact, partier that I am, I don't really feel like it. But my in-laws insist upon it. "Everyone in Hawaii does it, and it's a HUGE LUAU. YOU HAVE TO DO IT." Geez, I get it already. Well, I've been to one, and let's say that it was pretty close to a mini wedding. I'm definitely NOT going that route.

Something small, at home, and not tons of peeps. My house can't handle that and neither can my pocketbook. However, I will now get to cook like a crazy woman and I'm all about that! I don't why that brings me such joy...

Since we are talking luaus, last night we used some powdered poi, microwaved lau lau and I made chicken long rice. Can I tell you....the crock pot is your friend. Here's the recipe.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

www.justjenndesigns.com

There are no jobs at my office, and it doesn't look like they want me back anytime soon, so I have to take matters into my own hands.

I spent the past few months designing my online store and staying up late wrestling with dreamweaver and html. Finally....it's done!

www.justjenndesigns.com

I am selling baby goods, stationery and lots of gift items. I have a license and am open for business! Now if I can just figure out how to keep one foot on the sewing machine and the other on the kid who just learned to crawl....

Take a look and let me know what you think!!

**Want to be notified of our sales and new products? Send an email to justjenndesigns@yahoo.com with the subject: "SUBSCRIBE", join the email list and receive a free gift with your first order!

Monday, September 27, 2004

snack attack

Wholesale Unlimited is a seed store in Hawaii. I signed up for their email list and look at this new product they are selling:

Who knew you could eat watermelon seeds? And with powdered cheese no less! It sounds nasty.

A childhood fave are these "Kimi Balls" aka "Boro Boro Balls," aka "Honey Balls." Whatever you call them, they melt in your mouth and every little kid eats them. So I shove one in my baby's mouth and he makes this face, then proceeds to vomit all over the carpet. Nice. Maybe I should have shoved a "deep fried garlic clove" in his mouth instead. Yeesh.

Saturday, September 25, 2004

deep fried

Today we went to the L.A. County Fair. Have you seen the commerical where the teacher asks the kids, "Where does milk come from?" and they answer, "Cafe latte...half caff soy milk cappuccino..." And the announcer says, "If anyone needs a county fair, it's L.A." Ha. Very funny.

We were there for 5 hours - yeesh - but damn that place was big. We covered every part of it and saw all the little piggies and sheep and cows. They kid could care less.

I also got to eat the best ice cream I have ever eaten. And that's saying an awful lot, considering all the different kinds of ice cream I have eaten over the years. Tangerine Sherbet from Dr. Bob's - was so good, I can't even describe it. I have never had Dr. Bob's, I had it shipped to a friend for his birthday once, but never enjoyed it myself. Now I'm glad I chose it - cause seriously, BEST EVER.

And while we are talking about food, let's get this straight, I love fried foods. HOWEVER, deep fried snickers bars, oreos and twinkies...well, the thought makes me want to puke right now. Check out this list of deep fried thingies.

Friday, September 24, 2004

Breakin' the law

So I go to my Grandma's house and I'm sitting at the computer. I heard this pounding sound outside. I think it's just someone making noise and I ignore it. Still - it goes on. Finally I look up and my grandma is standing outside the window pounding on it.

Me: "What the hell are you doing out there making all that racket?"
Gram: "Come out here quick."


So I go outside, walk all the way to the front of the house, where she's standing on the side of the lawn.

Me: "What now."
Gram: "Come with me, let's go into the neighbor's backyard."
Me: "What are you, on crack?"
Gram: "She told me I could go anytime I wanted."
Me: "Uh - even if I believed that lie, I don't want to go to jail for trespassing. Thanks."
Gram: "No really, she said I could."
Me: "Then what do you need me for - go ahead, but I'm not bailing your ass out of jail."
Gram: "Here I go."

Just for the record - the other neighbor is a cop - so do you really think this is the wisest of decisions?

Thursday, September 23, 2004

just creamy

Now I love ice cream. I make my own every chance I get. I even sent some to a friend for his birthday. However, this, I don't know about this...

At ecreamery.com you can make your own ice cream - by choosing the base flavor as well as the add ins. Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for freedom of expression - but who the hell wants cheddar cheese chunks in their ice cream?

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Free fallin'

I woke up this morning to a sweet smell. It was the smell of fall. When the coldness of the night is burned off by the sun rising. It's a great smell. It means halloween is coming, then thanksgiving, then christmas.

Mmmm... fall.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

You have just been PHILiminated

Ok, this is my final word on tv. Man, I haven't watched the tube this much in a long time. Usually I just TIVO everything and watch it sometime the next morning. But with two finales tonight, I handed the kid to the husband, and parked it on the couch.

Drew won Big Brother, which is cool. I thought that idiot Cowboy was gonna win, he needed the money that's for sure. I can't imagine being locked in a house for 80 days, how crazy.

Then Chip and Kim won Amazing Race, THANK GOD. I wanted them to win. The part where the girl Jesus freak totally had a mental meltdown on the ski slope was classic television. You'd think Jesus would've cut her some slack. If we learned anything from the show, it's that Colin and Christie are total jackasses. I fell for the stupid 'faux suspense' at the end, thinking they actually had a chance. Screw you CBS for toying with my emotions.

Monday, September 20, 2004

hit her one more time

Did you hear that after Britney's wedding all the girls wore pink velour tracksuits and the guys wore white ones that said "PIMPS" on the back. How traditional.

Somewhere Justin Timberlake is rejoicing that he didn't marry that chick.

Work it girl

A long time ago, Oprah did a show about women who didn't enjoy being moms. The backlash was outrageous - people were so enraged they felt like those women should have been stoned to death. I didn't have a child at the time, but I wondered how people could feel that way.

Well, now that I have my own kid, I gotta say, I partially get it. Man having a kid is like the best thing in your life and the worst thing. It's great on the good days and hell on the bad. Sometimes you feel like you just weren't cut out for this sort of thing. I'm sure it will pass, but it sucks that it's the hardest job in the world, and people who don't have kids don't seem to get that. Heck, I didn't get it til I had one.

I'm trying to get the kid to take the bottle. He ain't having it. The doctor (and my mom) say to starve him - they say, "he won't starve, he'll eventually eat." Let's just say my kid is as stubborn and I am. Therefore, I have a feeling he can hold out for days. I guess he is going to grow up and be a supermodel...

Sunday, September 19, 2004

tv obsession


I'm a sucker. I never get into reality shows til the very end. Then I become obsessed. I signed up for the free 3 day trial of the Big Brother online feeds. I thought this would be lame, but damn is it addicting. I'm missing the Emmy's just cause I'm sitting here watching Drew eat corn on the cob. Good lord. Let this show end soon.

However! I am designing my new online store at the same time, so it's not a total waste of time. Just a partial waste....

Saturday, September 18, 2004

Tuna or Chicken

Get your netflix queues ready.

Jessica Simpson is officially cast as Daisy Duke in The Dukes of Hazzard, a movie remake of the old tv show. Then check out this additional bit of casting - Seann William Scott and Johnny Knoxville will play Bo and Luke Duke.

Yikes.

I still can't forgive that girl for slaughtering Robbie Williams "Angels."

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Vuole qualcosa da mangiare?

For my birthday my husband got me a Williams-Sonoma Italian cooking class. I half suspect it was so I'd make him an elaborate Italian meal.

The class was amazing! You learn so much and unlike when I am at home on the couch shouting at Emeril Lagasse for being a jackass, here you can ask questions and actually learn something.

The chef and her husband (acting sous chef) made Fettuccine alla Papalina (Fettuccine with eggs and prosciutto), Arrosto ai Funghi (Pot rost of beef with mushrooms), Gatto' di patate (Potato Mold), and Crespelle ai Lamponi (Crepes with raspberries).

It was all utterly delish and surprisingly easy to make. The pasta was amazing, though I don't know if I'd make it again, it relies too heavily on butter and I bake enough to fulfill my butter intake, already.

The class was cozy and interesting, but lasted two hours, I think I would have liked to have gone with a friend, it felt a little lonely. The best part is, at the end...you get to eat EVERYTHING. They serve it to you on fabulous Williams Sonoma dishes and it just makes you want to buy everything. They also give you 10% off whatever you want to buy that day. Nice. So of course, I couldn't let that go to waste - heck that's California state tax right there! So I bought this cute little pumpin cake pan. Yeah like I need more cake pans, but I promise to use it for every party this fall!!

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Busy scissors

Holy crap. KROQ announced the Inland Invasion 4 lineup. It's a "flashback" lineup. The logo is even the old school "revolutionize your ears" sticker that I used to have plastered on the side of my plastic case that I used as a purse. Ah, the 80's.

Anyway, check this - Morrissey, X (freakin' X, can you believe it!!), Siouxsie Sioux, Devo, Tears for Fears, Billy Idol, Missing Persons and Flock of Seagulls. And yes, I've saved the best for last. Ian Brown of the Stone Roses. The Stone Roses, people, do you understand?? I was just talking to Giao about this - the Stone Roses, aka, the best band that never was.

Am I going to the show? You bet your ass....I'm not. HA! I don't want to hang around in the I.E. all day in the hot sun waiting to hear "Hairdresser on Fire" live and in person.

I'm old, no apologies. Hey son, go fetch me my "Viva Hate" on vinyl. And get my dentures and my walker while you're at it...

Kids kick ass

School's back in session. How do I know this? Cause everyday at 3pm, these kids cross the open field in front of my house. First come the girls, who - for some reason - feel the need to yell "BITCHES" at the top of their lungs. What the hell, is that their gang name or something? And how can they be in a gang - they're only in the 6th grade!

Then come the boys. There is always two of them who start beating the shit out of each other while a circle of kids watches and cheers them on. Backpacks flailing, Trapper Keepers...awry. Kidding, do they even make Trapper Keepers anymore? Whatever. It's bad. One time I wanted to call the cops cause the fat one was totally kicking the little one's ass. I never bothered to look to see if it's always the same two, I doubt it.

Anyway, shut up kids. Oprah's on and I want to see what she gives away next.

Monday, September 13, 2004

she drives me crazy


My kid is starting to crawl, but who cares - Oprah's new season starts today!!

And man, is it just me, or is she becoming that "crazy billionaire" that grants people's wishes? Today was totally insane because she gave the entire audience a new car. I said the ENTIRE AUDIENCE.

And for real, she had two EMT's on hand in case anyone had a goddam heart attack. I don't know if you saw that SNL sketch where they made fun of her audience members going nuts and ripping each other's arms off, but that's way too close too home.

Sunday, September 12, 2004

Man whoring

I am watching Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo on FOX. It's just not as funny when it's edited.

Have you ever parked your bicycle, in an airplane hanger?

Saturday, September 11, 2004

ugh-bugs

You know when you get that feeling that something's crawling on you, but you look down only to see that it's one of your stray hairs that's fallen out of your head? Well that happened to me today, only I looked down and it was a big honkin' silverfish crawling on my arm. Needless to say I screamed and the damn thing went flying - and OF COURSE - is now no where to be found.

Sick.

Friday, September 10, 2004

turn it on


Goodbye summer, hello new tv season. The Apprentice was last night. Gotta give it up for the freak who wears bow ties and walks with a cane. That jackass is outta there. Also - those women candidates are crazy beyotches. Seriously - scary. Note - lime green jackets will get you no-where. The best quote of the night was when that one dude said that the guy's bow ties were P.I.M.P. That's good tv.

Also Big Brother is winding down. The only thing worth talking about is the fact that Drew wore a "Goonies" t-shirt with Sloth on it. That's all I noticed - I couldn't tell you what happened on that episode.

Thursday, September 09, 2004

mini!!!

Yee haw! My birthday was a long time ago - but the gifts just keep on coming!

Look what I got in the mail today---all MINI!!!



Wednesday, September 08, 2004

everything's good in the world....tonight!

What the hell is wrong with me. I just started watching the best show on tv - how could I have missed the whole first season!? Bands Reunited on VH-1 kicks ass. They go around and find all the original members (some of which hate each other) and have them reunite for a one night concert.

This season they did one of my most fave bands, ABC, and then they did Haircut 100! Two of the most memorable new wave 80's bands, ever.

Who would you want to see reunited? I'd say the Smiths of course, but we all know that's never going to happen. You can tell by the length of the program whether or not the band agrees to do it. For both Haircut and ABC - it was an hour long (according to TIVO.) Meanwhile the New Kids on the Block show was only 30 minutes. So obviously someone said no. I have no idea who those guys are anyway, I only know Marky Mark but apparently he wasn't in New Kids. Who knew.

The thing about doing bands from the 80's - it has been 20 years...Nick Heyward was such a cute boy and now - uh - let's just say, time is a bitch.

Labor Day

Well it's September, and I'm supposed to be officially off maternity leave. Only there's no work to go back too. Not only did my project get cancelled, but people are leaving the office like crazy. When people leave, they all feel compelled to write "goodbye" emails. Some are short and sweet, some are long and boring, and some just give shoutouts to random people like, "Hey Jill, remember that time we changed the toner, yeah that rocked." God.

So in case I leave - I feel I need to write a roughdraft of a goodbye letter. I mean, it has been 6 years, a proper goodbye would do, something like...

Dear "Generic Architecture Firm" Co-workers,
Thanks for 6 wonderful years. So many memories....

Like the time that the air conditioning unit over my desk rattled so badly I couldn't focus on my computer screen so I threw random objects at it until I got a pen stuck up there. What about the time I made the office guy unscrew all the lightbulbs on the second floor because I thought it was too bright? Uh - it's been 4 years, and I'm not even in the office, feel free to screw them back in if you like!

What about the time there was a wild peacock running around in the parking lot and people thought it was going to kill our office cat. Or when that guy brought a cake to the office Thanksgiving Party, and it had "HAPPY EASTER" written on it? How old was it? Who knows, you guys ate it anyway. Speaking of eating, what about when I sent an all office email that said, "Free donuts in the conference room," except there wasn't any donuts, I just wanted to get your attention regarding my deadline. Ha - hilarious.

Or maybe it was the time that co-worker brought his dog to work and it took a dump on the second floor. Or when that one guy went nuts and threatened to kill us all, no not THAT guy, the other one, silly!

Or what about when I went into Bossman X's office and said, "Please, for the love of god, fire me so I can move on with my life..." Well it's a darn good thing he didn't listen, or I wouldn't be sitting here at the same desk today. Thanks for the good times.
If you need to reach me you can contact me at:
justjenn@LATERBITCHES.com.

Jenn

I'll make sure the subject on that email is:
"free donuts in the conference room".

**ALL those things really happened.
You couldn't make that shit up if you tried.

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

J-LO

Ok - I am done with Rusty's wedding invites. Whew - pimpin' ain't easy with a kid around. Nothing gets done. Good thing I don't have other clients right now.

As I said, it' DAMN HOT. So something tasty and cool is definitely in order. When my mother in law was here she made a ton of stuff, one being Layered Jello, from the book "Hawaii's Best Local Desserts" by Jeean Watanabe Hee. It's a very cool book - tons of good recipes. My only qualm about this recipe - the Hawaii way is to grease the pan with mayonnaise. I'm dry heaving as I type this. God. Mayonnaise is the devil. So what if I eat potato salad, that's different than GREASING A PAN with mayonnaise. Ugh, disgusting.

Anyway - I talked my mother in law out it - so here's our recipe for layered JELL-O (hold the mayo). Sure gelatin is just horse hooves and pig snouts, but damn, it's tasty.



Monday, September 06, 2004

The hills of Los Angeles are burning, palm trees are candles...


What is with this heat?? We live by the beach and I'm dying, so I can't imagine what the inland or valley is like. If I lived there I'd commit suicide and to do that I'd just have to step outside for a second and then I'd be burned alive.

It's so hot I can't even think of cooking. So we went to breakfast at...get this...IKEA. Who knew they served breakfast? Apparently from 9:30am to 11am you can get a plate of bacon, eggs, potatoes, pancakes with lingonberry sauce and coffee for only $1.99. It's darn good and filling too. The website says you get a cinnamon roll but we got the stupid pancakes with lingonberries instead. Dammit, those cinnamon rolls are good.

Saturday, September 04, 2004

You've got balls

Damn do I have a backache. Maybe it's from sitting in front of the computer, maybe it's from carrying that heavy kid. Who knows.

Anyway - my mom told me to "lie down on a tennis ball." I tried it. It was awkward. So instead, as sit here at my desk, I've put the tennis ball behind my back, right in the spot where I have a knot, then did like Fat Joe said, and just "lean back." It works! Just that bit of pressure is such a relief.

Typing while doing this probably only makes it worse, but oh well.

Friday, September 03, 2004

i'm your friendly travel agent

All these New York discussions have made me want to go back. So instead I rented "You've Got Mail". That is a great New York movie.

"You've Got Mail" features Zabars, ohhhh, my favorite foodie store.

I just read, and have never been here, but I heard they opened a dessert bar called Chikalicious. A place that serves only dessert? Who stole my idea? Speaking of places that specialize and seeing how my friend loves FOOD, here are a few notable NY places that are truly...only in New York....

Peanut Butter and CO - in Greenwich Village, a place that serves peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Sounds boring? No way! Kyle would be in heaven.

That's not weird enough for you? How about a shop that sells ONLY Rice Pudding? Yep, that's Rice to Riches. Check out their menu. (You gotta give em props for their flashwork on the webpage.)

Finally, let's just get all our cavities filled and head on over to Dylan's Candy Bar. A 10,000 square foot candy store, can you dig it?

Thursday, September 02, 2004

I feel for you. I think I love you.

Now that the in-laws are gone, I can get on with my tv watchin'. Ah Big Brother, how I've missed thee. This show is stone cold boring, but I'll take what I can get this summer. Tonight they announced that someone has to leave the house in 48 hours. Of course I searched the internet like a mad woman to see who Drew (head of household) decided to nominate for eviction. If you don't want to know what's going to happen Saturday, don't read this --- Drew put up Marvin and his girlfriend Diane for eviction.
Funny sidenote - my mom was channel surfing and found this show.
My mom:
"Why is there a goth girl and a cowboy sitting on a couch?"
My uncle:
"You must be watching a very special Halloween episode."


Also I watched my tivo'ed MTV Awards. This year was dull, too bad Dave Chapelle wasn't the host. And where the heck was that crazy ho Britney Spears? She lives for these things.
Another funny sidenote - I watched part of this at a family gathering.
Kyle's younger cousin (she's 13):
"Who's that lady singing with Kanye West?"
His other cousin (my age):
"Chaka Khan."
The younger cousin:
"Oh, it's someone from the olden days."


WHAT?? Don't make me get Turbo and Ozone on your ass for that one.

Shopping Spree


Ok. I got $75 in amazon.com gift certificates for my birthday. Even though they don't expire til February, of course I've spent it all already. Here's what I bought.

1. A Kitchenaid mixer cover.
I've been meaning to make my own, but who cares.

2. A book on Spanish phrases.
I self-taught myself spanish, and I need to make sure my pronounciation is correct.

3. Cartoon Cakes by Debbie Brown
You have GOT to see this book. It's amazing what she does with sugar paste. I will be doing trial an error for the baby's upcoming birthday party...

4. You are the Quarry - the new Morrissey cd
No explaination necessary

5. Wacky Cakes and cookies
Again, prepping for the baby's party...

6. College Dropout - the new Kanye West cd
Because I drink Boost for breakfast and have Ensure for dizzert.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

I'm Gallagher up in here

It's September - whee!! Just a warning, I will be posting about food for days on end. Since we had a couple of parties last week, we made A TON of food. I've got pictures and instructions, galore.

First up - I was told by my mother to bring fruit salad to the party. I didn't want to waste that nice watermelon, so I carved it up! You know I love carving pumpkins, and this is way easier, trust me. I'm telling you, a Santoku knife is a must, there is no better knife on the planet. What else can cut straight through a cantaloupe with one swoop?

So anyway - here's my watermelon fruit basket, as well as the instructions.