Sunday, March 27, 2005

Do it for the children

I wrote this post the other day when things weren't going so well. I thought about editing it, or not posting it at all, but then, what the heck. Sometimes it's just better to get these things out.

If there's one question, well - rhetorical question, that I hate, it's, "Don't you just LOVE being a mother." The people who ask me this usually don't know that I am, to fault, an honest person. And I am going to answer that question honestly. And the answer is, "NO. I don't just LOVE being a mom. It's alright. Not bad."

It's weird to me that of all the jobs in the world, being a mother requires no references, no application, it just happens. Lately I am thinking I am the least qualified person for this job.

The kid has come into his own, and that's all well and good for his future but a nightmare for me. I can't get anything done and I feel like I'm losing my mind. The sad thing is, no one knows your pain but you. Even when I saddle my husband with the kid to make him "see how it feels" to take care of him, the end result is him saying, "How can you not love doing this everyday." Ugh. Easy for you to say when you only have to do it for 4 hours, once a week. Try everyday, ALL DAY.

I love my kid, and I don't regret anything, it's just hard. And sometimes, you just want 5 minutes to collect your thoughts and move on with your day. But when you don't even have that, well, it's too much.

I know lots of friends of mine who are afraid to have kids because they'd lose their "normal" life, and you know will. That's the truth right there. If you want to be selfish and live for yourself. Don't do it. Don't have kids. But on the other hand, there are days, when your kid will look at you with so much love - you just start crying. Those are the good days. Those are the days that make it all better.

Wait. Scratch that last sentence. He just took a hammer to the fireplace. I take it all back. Forget kids. Run for your life.


Blogger Leslie said...

Hey Jenn

I am there with you 100% on this one. The question I used to hate was, "Don't you just LOVE being a stay-at-home mom?"

And the answer was always very similar to Lynnette's answer from (Desperate Housewives):

(pause) "Um, yeah, uh it....sure"

.......hang on...I'm gonna e-mail ya.

Monday, March 28, 2005 8:58:00 AM  
Anonymous mipmup said...

i'm afraid i won't love and that really scares me.

Monday, March 28, 2005 10:16:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think any honest parent would say the same thing. But what do any of us truly love everything about? Especially that's worthwhile. I hate to clean my house but I do it. I hate to piece the sweaters I knit together.

The "kid's" 18 here and I still say "you don't realize how lucky it is I gave birth to you..." cause I'd kill him or at least move 1000+ miles away. Oh yeah. And we're friends.

Monday, March 28, 2005 2:14:00 PM  

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