Monday, May 23, 2005

playing footsie

What did I do this afternoon? Well, how kind of you to ask! I took the Sister-in-Law to the Emergency Room, seeing as how she sprained her ankle last night. It didn't seem that bad, hell, she could walk just fine and wasn't in pain, but we didn't want to take any chances.

So we saunter in there with frappuccinos and magazines, inquiring smugly about when we might be served. Meanwhile, the woman next to me is bleeding profusely from the leg. Nice. Our plight is not that bad, and we know it.

The frappuccino was a bad idea considering when they tried to take Sis's temperature, nothing registered. Yes, we are idiots. I told them to make her take it rectally, but she wasn't having it.

I go outside to walk around, cause, after two hours of waiting, even I'M starting to feel sick. I go back in, and they send me to her room. I walk in, and I shit you not, the room is covered in blood. On the floors, the chair, and there is a whole table of gauzy bloody things. DISGUSTING. And the Sis? Nowhere to be found.

Come to find out she went for xrays, and for some reason they never cleaned up the room from the person before. Luckily for my blue pill, I did not hurl, cause that's just nasty.

Then something even weirder happens. The clean up tech guy, comes in to take away the bloody mess, and he says, "Hey...I've got something to show you girls..." Uh, cut to me biting my lip, thinking of how to make a run for it, while dragging a cripple girl with me. He takes some scissors off the BLOODY tray and says, "These are for you guys. They're clean, I swear." Good lord. Get me out of here.

In the end, the chick is fine. She's on the couch watching her FAVE channel Lifetime (I have never seen so much crying in all my life), while yelling at me not to put her face on the blog. I think she just might make it.



Blogger Leslie said...

Daaaang! That is one heck of a "giant ass swollen ankle!" Geez!

At least the frappuccino was there to rescue you guys.

That and the blue pill.

Monday, May 23, 2005 11:34:00 PM  
Blogger Kevin Church said...

That ankle is going to feature in at least three or four deep and trouble nightmares soon. I hope she gets better because I know how you like to watch Lifetime alone.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005 5:42:00 AM  
Blogger Jen14221 said...

Oooooooh, free scissors. You should have taken them.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005 5:49:00 AM  
Blogger Nanette said...

I agree with Jen14221. You should have taken the free scissors and walked...because you're not supposed to run with scissors. :)

Tuesday, May 24, 2005 7:46:00 AM  
Blogger foodiechickie said...

OH MY GOD!!!! That swollen grapefruit does not hurt?

Tuesday, May 24, 2005 7:57:00 AM  
Blogger bRuiner said...

You said "rectally"

Tuesday, May 24, 2005 10:20:00 AM  
Blogger justJENN said...

I need my cd back, or you're going to get it. RECTALLY.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005 4:52:00 PM  
Blogger bRuiner said...

Mike has it!! Please send gloved doctors his way :-)

I'll send you the DJ ZTRIP cd as a thank you tho :-) hahaha

Tuesday, May 24, 2005 5:53:00 PM  
Anonymous myra said...

Whoa! It looks like she's hiding a golf ball in her ankle!

Tuesday, May 24, 2005 6:49:00 PM  
Blogger justJENN said...

You can take DJZTRIP and shove it...nevermind.

Why you like that song, I don't get it.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005 8:31:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think you achieved David Lynch status in this post. All you needed was an albino dwarf and a yak walking backward in slow-mo.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005 7:01:00 PM  

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