When the wind blows, when the mothers talk

My mother-in-law. I love her. I do. But sometimes I wonder if she's deliberately trying to drive me insane.

She comes up with these weird theories about things and SWEARS they are correct. She also makes the bold statement: "This is what people in Hawaii believe." Uh, whatever lady. I'm not so sure the entire state would back you on some of these things...

1.
She said:
"I hope I win big in Vegas. But not the Megabucks, it's cursed. If you win you die."
I said:
"And...you have documentation of this?"

2.
She said:
"I bought these socks for $30, they lower your cholesterol."
I said:
"So, it's not the PILLS you are taking...you're telling me it's the socks."

3.
She said, (while eyeing me closely):
"They say that if you are pregnant with a girl, she'll steal your beauty."
I said:
"Ok, so if I have a boy, then I have no excuse, I'm just hideous."

I'm only writing this cause she's out of town. Not that she knows how to use a computer anyway. I think I'm safe...
.