Take me home tonight, where there's music and there's people who are young and alive

Well, I was all set to extend my stay here for another 2 weeks, that is until today. Forget it. I'm ready to come home. It's only 9:30pm and I am dying. Kyle's out with his friends every night til 3am, my sis-in-law passes out around 9pm, and I'm bored out of my mind, up in here. So I've resorted to watching my moth-in-law watch Korean soap operas, which is as thrilling as it sounds. Apparently everyone here is hooked on them.

Not to mention that we are 6 hours behind the east coast and 3 hours behind the west coast, so calling or even emailing anyone is pointless, since it's so early here. I did, however, get a hold of O.G., which always leads to an interesting story.

I have also been getting horrible sleep. Since we are in a strange place, my Kid insists that I sleep with him til he's out. This is slightly annoying, as it occurs around 8pm, when I am not tired at all. He cuddles up as close as possible to me, then links his leg around mine, and puts his little hand on my arm. He does this to insure that if I get up to leave him...he feels it, and wakes up immediately. Dammit. What a smartie.

Tomorrow should be looking up though, since I am meeting up with a few friends. I hope this rain keeps up so the temp drops to "slightly sweaty."
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Randomness

Some random things about Hawaii:

1. Even when it's not that hot, I still feel sticky. Ick.

2. The sales tax is only 4%. Yay!

3. The soft water takes some getting used to. Other people love it, and I know L.A.'s hard water is crap, but I'm used to it. It's disconcerting to stand there trying to get this soap off of me for 20 minutes, and nothing happens.

4. This doesn't really apply to Hawaii, as much as it does to everywhere except Los Angeles, but damn. I can't believe how many people in this world still smoke. It's amazing. You know you're killing yourself, right? I just don't get it.

It's too hot to stand up. I think I'll pass out on the ground now...
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close shave

Ok, I am now the coolest momma on the block.
Check out the gift KFC gave me today, oh yeah.
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pour some sugar on me

I taste sweet. I didn't get but 10 minutes out of the house and I was eaten by mosquitos. Ouch. No one else was! Must be all that sugar I eat.

It's surprisingly pleasant in Hawaii. Rainy, which I like, and not too hot. Better than L.A., if I do say so. I ate shave ice today, and if the camera worked better, you'd see how lovely it was. But it doesn't - so you won't.

Tomorrow I am going to pick up a fantastic gift that KFC gave to me, I'll tell you more about that when I get it. How vague is this post, anyway?
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Aloha

I deserve mad props. I got all of my stuff, the Kid's stuff and the husband's stuff in ONE mother-f*ing suitcase, thank you very much. In the words of my sister-in-law, why don't you just bring two? Don't get me started...

We leave for Hawaii today. My plan? To go to the movies. A babysitter for the Kid and me in an air-conditioned theatre? I'm there. No peanut M&M's though. Damn pregnancy. I also plan to have shave ice everyday.

I probably should have planned this vacay differently. Maybe stayed a month or two cause, dammit, I got nothin' else going on. I would have had a free babysitter, and sewn and crafted everyday. Oh well. A week will have to do.

I look forward to seeing friends I haven't seen in a long time, eating a lot, and listening to my mother-in-law give my sis-in-law shit, for wearing a size 4 and being a fat ass. Ah, good times.
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You are on one side, and I am on the other, are we divided?

I got flowers. That's a big deal because I love flowers and never get them cause Kyle HATES flowers. Amazing that we've been together for 5 years when we are so different.

We celebrated by playing tag team with the Kid. Here you take him, ok, now your turn...That is, we spent no time together whatsoever. HA!

I know couples that do everything together. That’s great, but isn’t the reason you became attracted to that person in the first place was because of their individuality? Nothing is more annoying than a person who loses all sense of self. Who knows. I’m no PSYCHIATRIST.

Maybe next year we'll spend our anniversary together. Or not. We'll see.
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There is no future, in England's dreaming

My Kid. He looks ok. Cute in pictures, but hey, I'm biased. In person, the boy is a charmer. People physically stop me everytime we go out to exclaim, "Look at that cute kid!" Or, "Can I touch him?" Hello, that last one, is freaky. It's like, what makes people say that? I wouldn't go up to an attractive adult and say, "Hey, you're hot, can I touch you?" EW.

Anyway, maybe it's cause we live in L.A. but more than a few people have come up to me and told me to put the Kid in commercials. Not...happening. First of all, I'm the one who'd have to cart his ass around all over town to auditions. Forget it. Kyle's all for it. He wants the Kid to "earn his keep." He was even going to enter him in the Japanese Nisei Week baby pagent, turns out we will be out of town anyway. Maybe I'd do it just for the free $25 they are giving each kid. I think Kyle wants him to win the crown, though.

Speaking of a crown, and speaking of Nisei Week, my cousin is a 2005 Princess, running for the title of Queen. Nisei Week is a HUGE mother-lovin' deal in the Japanese community. I never cared much about it, til now, but I hope she wins. In case you were wondering, my cousin's the asian one with the long hair. HAHAH Now that's comedy.
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scissor sisters

So here I am deciding what to do with this material I bought. I asked the woman at the counter, "What do most people make with flannel?" I wanted something different, something unique, not pajamas, not blankets, but all she said was "Kids pajamas, that's about it." BORING. Oh well. I bought it anyway.

So I bring the stuff home, and as I'm pinning it, I look down, and what do I see?



What the f*ck? Not like I was going to make them anyway, BUT WHAT IF I WAS? I mean, after all the counter woman recommended it to me, and she would know best cause she has scissors in her hand, and that's authority!

What would happen if I DID make pajamas? Would they strangle my child in his sleep? What kind of a world do we live in, if you can't make flannel pajamas out of Incredibles fabric?! I want answers, dammit!

Nah, I don't really care. I'm just going to make my blanket.
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cat-astrophe

Who is so lame that they would look up, "Tips on how to name your cat." NO, I did not do that, smartass.

Stupid Google gave that to me when I was looking up something else. Of course I had to check it out. Google, you're such a tease.

Oh the laughter that came from me as I read, "Top Ten most accident prone cat names." That is insane. Hello, number five is "SPOCK."

Maybe I should use this list to help me find a baby name...
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Now no one’s knocked upon my doorfor a thousand years, or more

I have been moody lately. I don't know what it is. I'm lonely. I haven't seen or even heard from my friends in a long, long time. Everyone's too busy to chat, email, so no nothing. They'd say it's cause I have kids. But hey man, it's not all me. I get it, people are busy. But I am seriously bored up in here. And my Kid is so tote-able. Just stick him in your pocket and he's good to go. Really.

So right when I'm feeling down, this week is starting to look up. After a drought of no emails but spam, I got a few, which makes me happy. I got to spend some time with Leslie, even if it was baking in the sun, and Rusty came over, who I haven't seen in...I don't know how long. Which was made obvious when I opened the front door and he yelled, "YOUR HAIR!" In a good way, I think.

Also, I got a package from Ani. Boy do I love the presents. Even if they're not for me, it was for the Kid. For his second birthday...uh...his birthday isn't til January. That cracked me up. This is the second time she's done this in a month. Now, don't get me wrong. I love gifts, but six months early is crazy. Made me smile, though.
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"But for now, rest well and dream of large women."

I am now 5 months pregnant. No, I shall not be showing my belly a la this girl or this girl. Are you nuts? I am HUGE! I have gained ZERO pounds, yet I am HUGE. Explain this. My tummy is big and my boobs are now gi-normous. Still, no weight gained. Huh.

I am also feeling most unattractive. Very ugly. More than ever. Things could be worse. People could be talking shit about me.

Mother-in-law: "I knew it was a boy. Just look at your face. It's clean and pretty. My neighbor's having a girl and her face is ugly and blemished."

Well, isn't that just lovely.
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Hot summer streets, and the pavements are burning, I sit around

It's officially hot, and I'm officially pissed off.

Damn this weather, why am I complaining when it's 20 degrees cooler where I live, than in Downtown? Cause I can. If it goes above 79, prepare for my rage.

Yesterday I saw a woman on her lawn pointing a hose directly at her kid. Just standing there, the two of them. Good idea. Except I think I'll train my kid to point the hose at ME, while I kick it my lawn chair. Kid's gotta earn his keep.
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if they were me, if they were me, and i was you, and i was you

My favorite day of the year, my birthday, is coming soon.
And by soon, I mean weeks from now. HA!
July/August are busy months, tons of people I know have birthdays for some reason. Including, Kyle's best friend KFC...

Jenn: “KFC’s birthday is coming up, should I get him something?”
Kyle: “Yep. It’s August 9th...
ARE YOU SHOCKED that I knew that?”
Jenn: “Yes, considering you don’t even know your own child’s birthday. So, when’s MY birthday?”
Kyle: “Eh, who knows.”

Nice.
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And we were never holding back or worried that, time would come to an end

I am bored and it's killing me. This ennui has taken over my brain and I have no idea what to do about it. One morning, I got the Kid up, fed him, changed him, did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen floor, did the laundry, took out the trash, made cupcakes, and made salad. All before 10am. Yeah I was tired, but I was still bored.

Last night I had 40 mins to kill before "Hell's Kitchen," so I took that fabric I had recently bought, and decided to make a pillow for the Kid for the plane ride next week.

I added a little pocket in front, to store the folded up blanket - which, I plan to sew up today, but I think I made it too tight.

DAMMIT. So maybe he'll just store the monkey in there.

Still bored.
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She's got big thoughts, big dreamsand a big brown Mercedes sedan

Beauty products soon to be purchased on my shopping list:



Grapefruit whipped body butter
Yum, doesn't that sound delish?


MAC Lipstick in Tease Me
I use this everyday and I'm almost out.
also
VIVA GLAM V
All proceeds go to charity.





Lemonade Shampoo.
Smell lemon-y all day!








Cherry whipped body cream
Wait! Maybe I want cherry instead.
Man I feel fruity.
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"I’m not Chinese, I don’t plan on being Chinese, so who gives a crap if...”*

So my mom is going to China with a tour group next week. They gave her a piece of silk, on which and she was supposed to draw, paint, something creative, on the thing. Apparently they are going to show it at the Olympics in 2008 or something.

My mother – completely opposite of me. The most non-artistic woman on earth. So of course the thing gets thrown in my lap. I had no idea what to put on it.

I decided to go TOTALLY STEREOTYPICAL and throw some brush stroke writing on there, and oh, why not, a DRAGON. Cause everyone knows the Chinese love dragons. And red. I'm joking. Sort of. Hey, she told me the theme was Peace on Earth, and it was going to China. What the hell would you do? I searched the internet to find that writing, god knows, I only hope it says, "peace." My brother wanted me to write "Anti-Slant-Eye" on it. How highly inappropriate! (Although I laughed and laughed.)
Click here if you want to see how I did it.

As usual, I drew up some sketches before I started. I was just going to tell her,
"OH SHIT. I thought you said PEAS ON EARTH. Sorry Ma."
I like that idea better, frankly.


*That quote was stolen and edited from Ferris Bueller.
Sorry. I got nothin' today.
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"It's impossible, Lois could never have Superman's baby. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom. That would kill him!"

This was perhaps the BEST Comic Con I have been to, in all my years. It was not crowded (probably because I went on a Friday) and it was COLD, not hot like the gates of hell in previous years!

But it was so much bigger! By 6pm my feet hurt so badly (see my hurt feet?) that I just collapsed on the ground wondering if I’d ever make it back to Los Angeles. Luckily Kyle and P*ul found me amongst the sea of nerds and I made it home. Whew.

I also realized how to attack this thing. I ditch the boys, only go to panels that are really interesting and keep my walking to a minimum. Hard to do, but good in theory. Since this year went so smoothly, I think next year will be a breeze.

Short and sweet:
THE GOOD: The JLU panel was really good, with special previews of next season, which people went NUTS over. Also, I waited all day to see Aaron McGruder, who I am a big fan of, and it was well worth it. He was not the angry black man you’d think he’d be. The panel was so interesting I wish it was longer. I also got a free t-shirt. Hey, buy my love. I don’t mind.

THE BAD: Being f*cked up the ass on parking – we paid $38. That’s what I said, $38. But I only had to walk a few blocks, which is nice for a pregnant woman.

THE UGLY: It was goth-tastic this year. And boy did they have money to spend. I passed right on by those booths. Also, there were dudes in jedi outfits...with the homemade JACK IN THE BOX heads. As in, the fast food chain. I don’t get it, but I guess in the future you gotta eat too.

I know no one cares about this Comic Con crap, so here’s what I offer you. Flickr pictures with of the whole thing, or what you really came to this blog for - my very own Croque Monsier recipe. You decide.
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Hooper: "Archie & Jughead were lovers." Banky: "Shut the f*ck up."

Comic Con today. Thank god. I need a break. My Kid just threw a bunch of grapes at me and I'll basically go anywhere, right about now.

The convention has now taken up the entire center - that is - 460,000 sq. ft. Goodness. I remember when it was small-er, well, at least manageable. The exhibit hall will be filled with lots of pretty things. More space, means more people, means more waiting. As in 3 hours of waiting. Unless Keanu Reeves is standing at the end of that line with open arms, I won't be waiting for shit.

For a very nice and pretty darn accurate article, go HERE.

For anyone not going, there's plenty of other nerd action going on, on friday. Battlestar Galactica series premiere (Kyle has already set his tivo), Charlie & the Chocolate Factory comes out, and of course, Harry Potter at midnight. Put on your wizard outfit and get yourself to a bookstore.
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So money

I owe some people some money. Hang on. Before you call gambler's anonymous, I don't have a problem....yet. I'll let you know if I end up working in a brothel in Vegas against my will.

Anyway, I kept conveniently forgetting about it, until today. I figured, they want their money, they'll get it - the way I want to give it to them. Hey, it could have been worse.


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Hurts so good

Ah, with the good, always comes the bad. The other night I found myself on the ground, doubled over in pain. Pain like I have never felt before. Giving birth wasn't this bad, for Christ's sakes.

First it was mild. Then I fell to the floor and my abdomen hurt so bad I began crying hysterically. I felt bad for the Kid, who was clearly freaked out. This went on for over an hour. He eventually came and sat next to me as I lay there crying. He kissed my lips, and stuck his finger in my nose.

And that...was that.

The pain magically went away. Suddenly I could breathe, stand up even. As if nothing was ever wrong.

The doctor checked me out and said everything's fine. Whatever. My first pregnancy I was put on a 3 week bedrest which was TORTURE. Back then it was because of too much running up and down the stairs at work, and this and that. I'm sure wearing heels as far along as I possible could, didn't help either. As for this time, oh, maybe last week, I may have carried a tv, which I promptly dropped on my foot, and lifted a bunch of heavy things...but I don't think that's the cause...um, really. *sigh*

Anyway. If this happens again, I hope someone is around to kiss me and stick their finger up my nose. Cause that seems to be the cure.
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O is for the oven with it's burning heat...

Oh iFILM, you make me laugh when I'm having a bad day.

Holy shit. This is hilarious. Mr. T, raps about his mother. My fave part, besides the pulled up gym socks, is when he spells out M-O-T-H-E-R.

This one - my brother made me watch. If you ever played Super Mario Brothers, (Ok, fine, I did. Happy?) then this will make you laugh at the dork-i-ness. Or, um, your own dork-i-ness if you remember any of this music.
(It's way too long by the way. I turned it off after about 1 minute.)

I'm a fan of dance music, so sue me. So I happen to like the Weekend by Michael Gray. The video however - well. It's about, you know, your average office girls, filing and writhing around making copies...in bikinis. Cause yeah, that's what I did at my office.
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When he moves I watch him from behind he turns and laughter flickers in his eyes

The room was dark. I leaned back and closed my eyes slightly. I felt warm lube squirting all over my tummy. No, this is not porn, I was about to find out the sex of baby #2.

I opened my eyes and looked at the television screen. Nothing. The nurse fidgeted with the scanner a bit. Back and forth across my tummy. It kinda ached, but I just winced and waited. Still nothing...and there it was. A head. A curled back. Then arms, little fingers, legs, and toes.

I turned to the nurse and said, "It's a boy, isn't it?"
"Yes," she replied.
I knew it.
I remembered quite clearly from the first time around, what "boy parts" in an ultrasound looked like, and there it was. Clear as day.

The technology has improved in the past two years, to the point where they now give you a 4D view of the kid's face. I did not ask for this, and I probably wouldn't have. It's scary. Yuck. But still amazing. I watched as the little heartbeat fluttered quickly on the screen.

I felt good and happy, but a little twinge of guilt that maybe, just maybe, a girl would have been nice. Funny, I didn't care what it was until that very moment. I still don't. Guilt, gone. Boys rock.

I am relieved. Now I can start thinking of names, and relating a little more to this guy. I also smile at my son and get a little teary. Soon, I'll have two of them. Two boys.


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Cause I'm crafty, bitch!

It's July, you know what that means. Time to start thinking about Christmas. That's what all the craft stores are telling me anyway. I went yesterday and the aisles were filled with holiday crap. I started to panic and wonder how much time I had left. Ah, only 5 months. All the other crazy craft women in line seemed to have their Christmas stuff all ret-to-go.

I didn't succumb to the red and green, but check out all this cute licensed fabric I just bought.

The woman at the counter said, "These are great, what are you going to do with them?" Uh...I have no plans. I'm making something for all the kiddies I know, that's about as far as I've gotten in planning. It'll come to me...I think.


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Edina: “I don't know why it went wrong with Justin. I mean, we just adored each other.”Patsy: “He's gay.”

sKog's boyfriend is back in town from the far away land that he lives in. I miss him, and he's not even my boyfriend! He's so good with the Kid. sKog and I sit there and gossip and while the two of them read books and play toy cars for hours and hours.

Maybe it's because he doesn't speak English that well. He and the Kid communicate in some French/baby babble/English that only they can understand. Whatever it is, he's the best with kids.

The only way for him to stay here is to marry someone...a woman.

Damn this country for not giving gay men the right to marry. Cause if they did I would surely have the greatest au pair ever! And really, when it comes down to it, gay rights is all about ME, isn't it?
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Tropical island in the deep blue seaThe natives are friendly and the lobster's free

We booked a flight to go back to Hawaii. We haven't been back for over two years. Normally, that's the last place I'd want to vacay in the heat of summer, HOWEVER, the in-laws are dying to show their only grandkid off, and if it means a free babysitter for me, then what the heck.

Kids under 2 fly free. Free means - of course - they don't get a seat. So that is, holding this squirmy monkey on your lap for 5 hours. FEERGET IT. So we sucked it up and paid for the third seat. Egads, that's a pain in the wallet. I'm just hoping he behaves. I am always the angry woman, scorning the other person's screaming child, now I may be wrangling one myself. *sigh* Payback's a bitch.

My sis-in-law called to see how much luggage we will be bringing. Hello, we're not like my in-laws who bring the MAX suitcases filled to capacity for no goddam reason. They don't seem to understand that their son is a 'luggage nazi'. It's true. Kyle does not allow me to bring my own suitcase, NO, we have to share one. Yes, I said, ALLOW, don't be all feminist about it, the man is dead serious when it comes to luggage.

I think it's his plot against me and my need to bring at least 3 pairs of shoes when I travel. You never know when you're going to need a pair of heels, am I right, or am I right? So here we are, now with a child, going to Hawaii, with one suitcase - for me, him AND the Kid. This is why I pack weeks in advance cause I stress out about it so much.

Then again, I don't have to carry anything or lift a finger, so I don't know what I'm complaining about.
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Spin me right round

The Kid’s monkey was in dire need of a washing. When I opened up the lid, I felt bad. Like the monkey was all, “What the hell just happened?” Poor thing. That spin cycle is a doozy.


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But loverboy, if you call me homeI'll come driving fast as wheels can turn

Nanette was saying how she had to get her driver's license picture retaken, and how that sucked cause the pic she had was her as a cute 16 year old, garnering her loads of compliments.

I hear you sister. I get compliments on my driver's license too. It's possibly one of the few decent pics of myself. But that was me when I was 22. It's now ten years later, and yeesh, I don't look that great anymore. I'm sure a reshoot is coming up, and I dread the thought of retaking it.

More about driving. I was barreling down the 405 at 80 miles and hour, when I realized...Hey. I'm pregnant.

No, I didn't think to slow down.
I thought, "Man, I can TOTALLY take the carpool lane!"
Yikes.
I AM a bad mother.
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Generations will come and go...I hope it's gonna be alrightCause the music plays forever

I’m a little freaked out for next week. I have THE doctor's appt. The one where they tell you if there are any complications. Scary. Also, I am supposed to find out the sex of the baby. That always makes me nervous, because I am so anal, I totally NEED TO KNOW these things.

People who like to be “surprised,” FORGET IT. I'm a planner, dammit. I need to think of names, among other things. If it’s another boy, easy, nothing to do. If it’s a girl, well that changes everything. New clothes, new toys, new...mindset.

We’ll see how it goes. Then there’s always the fact that when they say BOY, it’s 100%, but if it’s a GIRL, that’s not always the case.
I don’t want any surprises come December.
I..will..be..ticked.

Any guesses on what it will be? Now taking bets. Leave me a comment with your guess, if you care.
The winner gets...well, nothing.
Just my love and affection. Sorry.
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from the desk of

Random things on my desk. I am making this little Spidey notepad for a cute little boy whose birthday is coming up.



I got this sticker for FREE and I love it. It looks like me cause I am often angry, except I don't wear headbands.
Um, or wear sailor outfits.


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F*ck me.

Sketching, sketching, sketching. I spent all morning drawing up things I need to do. I need to make a curtain for the Kid's nightstand. I need to do a painting for my mom. I need to sew a bunch of summer-y bags and totes. I need to make like, 10 birthday cards for the months of July and August. I even sketch up the clothes I'm going to pack for my trip. (Yes, I do that. I'm a dork.) I have to sketch anything I do before I start, even if it's just a quick line drawing. I'm crazy visual like that. If I draw it, I can make it. Build it they will come? Whatever.

No one uses pencils anymore and it's a darn shame. Nothing feels quite as comfortable in your hand, except maybe a fork, I guess. Course there's always mistakes to be made and that's why I have this eraser. Cause that's the first word I think of when I screw up.


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Tim Burton: "Anyone who knows me will tell you that I would never read a comic book." Kevin Smith: "Which I guess, explains Batman."

Sometimes I feel like I should shut this blog down. Who the hell is reading this nonsense that I jot down everyday, anyway? It’s July 2005 and I writing about the same thing I did for the past few years. Going to Comic Con. Yep, it's that time again.

Kyle wants to go Friday to avoid the other 80,000 people that turn up on the weekend. Good thinking. However, the only reason I am going, is to see Kevin Smith, and guess what. He’s going to be there Saturday. Just great. Not only that, all the good stuff is being previewed that day too. Poo. Kyle seems more than happy that the Battlestar Galactica cast will be there Friday. I'd rather be at Sea World. Thanks.

Now what am I going to do while Kyle and Pa*l watch anime all day and look at the half naked chicks at the booths? I need to find something to do. The good news - the schedule was posted today. The bad news - turns out friday is Star Wars Day. Dammit. You know what that means, an extravaganza of nerds dressed up in homemade costumes. Son of a…

I've thought of a way to get him back, though. Since I'm the one paying and registering, I'll just sign Kyle & Pa*l up for the masquerade ball. That'll teach him. I'm sure there are many, many duos they can go as...
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I was upset you see, almost all the timeYou used to be a stranger, now you are mine

I think I am finally coming to terms with this pregnancy thing. How could I not, when my husband says, “Man, you are HUGE.” Gee thanks. Yet, to people who don't see me naked, I don’t look pregnant at all. In fact, I weigh LESS than before I was pregnant. Huh. Pregnancy, the best diet ever?

At the party yesterday a woman said, “WHAT? You’re pregnant? You don’t even look old enough to have kids - I thought you were 13 years old!” Yikes. No one's ever said that. When I stopped being carded I was kind of sad, but I think I'd rather have that, then someone thinking I'm 13 and with child.
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Black cat nine lives, short days long nights

It's late.
I'm tired.
I'm done.


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Whatever happened, I apologize, dry your tears and baby walk outside, it's the Fourth of July

Happy 4th. Heading out to my Uncle's, I made pasta, a watermelon bombe, and this...Hawaiian Jello Dessert. What? I didn't name it, I found the recipe in a book. I changed the Jello colors to red and blue for the holiday. Yeah, yeah, it's pink, shaddup.

Recipe HERE.


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Like Butta

Well, I found out the hard way that the Kid is allergic to peanuts. He didn't eat any of his lunch, so when all else fails, I took my doctor's advice and threw a little bit of peanut butter and jelly on some bread and fed it to him. He's over 1 year so the peanut thing, if a problem...shouldn't be.

Was I wrong. Within 1 hour the Kid's eyes welted up like Will Smith in Hitch. Damn, it was sad and horrible. Solidifying my status as the worst mother ever. That's how I felt anyway.

Poor kid. Guess we won't be going HERE anytime soon.
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Land of the dead

My Grandma wanted to go to the cemetary to put flowers on her brother's grave. The Kid came, and thought it was an amusement park. He ran and laughed with O.G. while they ran through the grass. Hello, creepy.

I am truly this woman's bitch, as the things she makes me do, is just crazy. Along with the flowers she brought 8 chopsticks. I was like, "What the hell, don't tell me we're eating here..." But no, the chopsticks - her brilliant mind thought this up - are to hold up the potted flowers. I should have taken a picture. They sort of, hold up the pot, so it doesn't fall over. This of course, she made me do. So here I am in a cemetary, on all fours, pushing these chopsticks into the grave. I told her if a hand comes up and grabs me, I'm kicking her ass.

She made us do a "drive by" of her future grave-site, so we can easily find her later. NO COMMENT. Just go HERE.

She also decided to bring along a polaroid camera to take pictures of headstones she likes. CRAZY. Just say it with me. CRRAAZZY. Instead I took it and snapped a shot of her and the Kid, playing with a pinwheel on SOMEONE ELSE'S GRAVE.


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The "S" is for Super, the "U" is for Unique.

My Uncle LOVES Sci-Fi. Tv shows, movies, whatever, the dude is WAY into it. Not so much, "going to a Con and wearing a costume into it," but into it nonetheless. This weekend is my Aunt's big Fourth of July party - as their house is prime real estate for fireworks watching. In parts of Los Angeles, having fireworks is illegal cause, well...PEOPLE DIE. Nah, I don't know if that's true, but it sure sounds dramatic, doesn't it? So her yard has the best view of the city’s free "Spectacularrrr."

Anyway, when I get together with my Uncle, I usually ask him to recap the entire season of shows I stopped watching. Last time? He answered all my questions about the whole last few seasons of Angel. Talk about a show that went to crap. Hello, a puppet episode? I'm not saying Joss Whedon was high, wait, yes I am. God I hate puppets almost as much as clowns, I'll have you know. Anyway, my Uncle's recaps are better than watching the show, and even better when he's had a few beers.

So this year? I think I'll ask him about Smallville. When Smallville debuted, I watched it religiously. I haven't seen it since Season 2. I don't know, it got...annoying. However, the other night there was nothing on tv, so I saw part of an episode. What the hell. Why do I do that, it's so confusing!

1. Why is Chloe dead?
2. Why is Lois Lane in Smallville?
3. What the...Lois Lane is related to Chloe?
4. Tom Welling is a sexy boy.

That last one wasn't really so much a question, as a statement. Anyway, I hope to get my questions answered this weekend, and see some purty fireworks.