Friday, September 30, 2005

Tea for two

I have a thing for tea cakes. Not just any tea cakes, but these tiny ones ONLY made in a non-descript Burbank bakery. When I worked at D*sney I ate one every morning. They were so light and yummy. A kind of airy spice cake with a thin glaze on top. I haven't had one in about 3 years.

So imagine my surprise when I walked into work this morning and there were THREE boxes of them on the counter! We're not even anywhere near Burbank!

That happiness makes up for the stressful doctors appt. I had yesterday which only showed that this baby is WELL on his way. In fact, it's a good thing THIS week is my last week of work, as this Kid2 could show up at any time. Apparently those "funny" feelings I haven't been telling people about...they were contractions. Interesting.

Morning tea cakes. This is going to be a good day, I feel it.

**Ok, wait. I think there's alcohol in these tea cakes. Seriously, I taste...something. Is that why they are highly addictive?
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Thursday, September 29, 2005

From the edge of the deep green sea, and she listens like her head's on fire

It's hotter than hell, suddenly. No amount of high powered A/C will make me feel any better. So I drive with the windows down, AND the A/C on. I do my part to waste energy, what can I say.

However, windows down allows in all kinds of pollution. Why is it, that people who smoke, always drive with their cigarettes hanging out of the car window? All it does is just go wafting back into my car. If you want to kill yourself - go ahead, roll up the goddam car windows and smoke your bloody brains out. But you don't have to go killing me too. Now I've got a headache. F*ckers.
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Edina: “Soon I'll be bendy like Madonna, darling. Then I'll be able to kiss my own ass from both directions.”


I need to do some crunches or something. My ass is killing me. I don't remember how I was able to sit at work all day long and not feel so restless. I started my morning yoga again, but I think it's too little too late.

Two of my friends are also having babies - each of us a month apart. We recently all were at a party where someone told us that from behind none of us looks pregnant. Could this be because we are all carrying boys? Who knows.

All I know is, I get lots o' double takes on the street. People look at me and then when I turn around they look again like, "Whoa, that chick is pregnant."

In two months I'll have my own body back, yay! Oh and another Kid. Yeah, that too.
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Wednesday, September 28, 2005

What has two thumbs and hates Todd Packer? THIS GUY.

The Office made me laugh so hard, I can't even tell you. Wait, was it more...laughing? Or was that it...total horrified me? Either way, I like Tuesday nights.

I'd have put a Dwight quote up here on the blog, but really, if you didn't watch the show tonight, um...nevermind.

And Saturday night - Steve Carrell hosts SNL with Kanye West. All good.
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Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Meme-o to self

I'm at work, on lunch break from drawing toilets. So I'll do this!

What color is most reflective of you?
Black.

How did you get the idea for your journal name?
I used to be a dj. That was my on-air name.

What song are you playing now, or wish you were playing?
But Not Tonight - Depeche Mode

What color underwear are you wearing?
Black. (Is this my standard answer or what?)

Do you want a baby? Another one?
No.

What does your dad do for a living?
Steals money.

What does your mom do for a living?
Tells people to be quiet.

What color are your bedsheets?
Not black.

What was the last concert you attended?
Erasure

Who was with you?
Well, Andy Bell was there, and so was Vince.

What was the last movie you saw?
Hitchhiker's Guide - *Martin Freeman!*

Who do you dislike most at this moment?
Suprisingly, no one. It's a good day so far.

What food are you craving right now?
Chewy Sweet Tarts

Did you dream last night?
I do every night.

What was the last tv show you watched?
My Name is Earl - "Oh no you didn't just push B7!"

What is to the left of you?
Drawings of urinals.

What was the last thing you ate?
Pastry from Coffee Bean

Who is your best friend of the opposite sex?
Someone who won't read this anyway.

Write a song lyric that's in your head?
She's filing her nails as they're dragging the lake.

Who last imed you?
No one, I'm working, bitches.

Where is your significant other right now?
With bRuiner, probably.

Do you have a crush?
Yes. And I KNOW he loves me too.

What shampoo do you use?
Bumble & Bumble

When was the last time you cut your hair?
I'm going for a disco fro.

Are you on any meds?
I thought I was, but turns out I was just eating Sweet Tarts.

Do you have a mental disease?
Tourettes probably.

What shirt are you wearing?
A black silk sweater.

What is your fave frozen treat?
Coffee Ice cream.

Are you sexy?
No.

What's your favorite shopping store?
I have plenty.

Can you imagine yourself ever getting married?
Yes.
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If love wasn't here would we reinvent it?

Have you ever seen a couple and wondered, "How in the world did THOSE two get together?" I'm sure people probably say the same thing about me and my husband - but last week I met this couple and they were just so, very different.

The guy was so nice - and quiet and pleasant. While the woman...well, she was ccrreeaazzyy with a capital C. I wondered how they ever decided to get married. A friend of mine who knows them said, "Yeah, they are strange. It's obvious they are supposed to be with other people." It was bizarre.

Meanwhile there is a huge surge in people I know that are getting married. These people included. Except I don't know them.
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Monday, September 26, 2005

Scratch this

This whole "working" thing has thrown my life into a tizzy. Yesterday, I did the unthinkable. I bought...pre-made cookie dough. OH FOR SHAME. My mother in law laughed at me cause I always make EVERYTHING from scratch. But damn the person who stands between a pregnant woman and her insatiable craving for chocolate chip cookies.

I went to the store with full intention of buying ingredients, but when I got there, I weighed the options: An hour spent making cookies from scratch, or buy this crap and spend the leftover 50 minutes with my son who I now see for a mere two hours a day before he goes to bed at 8:30pm.

Kid wins.
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Saturday, September 24, 2005

Please call again

I got an urgent email from paypal (supposedly) that said:

One of our Customer Service employees has already tryed to telephonically reach you.

What the? Do you think I'm going to answer anyone that uses the word "telephonically," let alone spells tried with a "Y"?

You're going to have to try harder than that to steal my money, you bastards.
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Friday, September 23, 2005

Cut a real impression on this heart of mine,
I'm loving what is happening to me

While Will has been busy buying condoms in packs of 36, Rivers Cuomo has been abstaining from sex for two years. I do believe there's a middle ground in there somewhere.

When you're pregnant, it's obvious you've had sex of course, and it gives people free reign to talk about all kinds of crazy related issues that seem really inappropriate in any other forum.

Get women together at a baby shower, you will hear things such as "nipple confusion" and "episiotomy." If you don't know what that last one is, I'll let you look it up yourself.

When I was pregnant the first time it was all exciting and new. Now I've been there done that and I'm just ready to get on with it, already. Still, lately I feel a lot of love in my heart for this kid that is coming my way soon. At the same time, I feel very bad - maybe if this second one was a girl, there'd be more excitement about it. I was thinking of having a shower/party for this one, just because...well, cause I felt bad that it's not a big deal. Then I decided, eh, forget it. Why bother. This poor kid! Will his whole life be like this? "Want a cookie? Eh, forget it."

No wonder my brother keeps complaining that second children get the shaft.
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Thursday, September 22, 2005

You just don't FIT in


Martha Stewart Apprentice doesn't really work for me. I'm not sure if I'm going to keep watching this. However, I like how she writes a letter at the end. I wonder if she did that when she left prison.

"Sup bitches,

I'll miss our days of making shivs out of toothbrushes.

Peace out,
Martha"

**If I had my own show, I think I'd trademark the catch phrase, "You f*cked up."
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Wednesday, September 21, 2005

I want to thank God.
I feel God is in this Chili's tonight.

Did anyone else watch the Office premiere tonight?
Women are terrible.

Here's a question - hypothetically, if a stranger were to give you $200 and tells you to "buy something for yourself, anything." What would you buy? I always say I want this or that, but if I actually had the money, I have no idea what I'd spend it on.

What would you buy?
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Tuesday, September 20, 2005

The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude.

I just have to say - it's raining in Southern California and I couldn't be happier!

In high school I was friends with all different kinds of people, nerds, jocks, cheerleaders and of course, the punk/goths.

Ever wonder what guys with mohawks do when it rains? Well, my friend in high school used to just lay his hair flat. He had long hair which gave the 'hawk a good 10 inch spike, front to back. When it rained...no mohawk. Cause you know, nothing is sadder than a limp mohawk.
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I don't see you crying, ROBOT.

I took the Kid to Disneyland today, and I don't know what the deal was, but he was freaked on EVERYTHING. Was it the dark? Who knows, but he woke up tonight in the middle of a good sleep and cried and cried. Geez Louise, those animatronics must have done a number on his tiny brain.

The only thing that calms him down is to crawl up right next to me, as close as possible and snuggle in tight. While this is all cute and all well and good, I have sleep issues. Having a kid, as loving as he is, all up in my business while I'm trying to get my sleep on, does not make for good R.E.M.

My friend sKog and I should sleep together (not like that) - cause we have the same sleep issues, that seem to plague only us. When we found out how alike we were we laughed and laughed. Our significant others think we are crazy.

1. The bed has to be neatly made BEFORE we can get in.
That is, the sheets have to be tucked. If I feel any untucked sheets I will get out of bed and remake the whole thing.

2. No wrinkles in the clothes.
Which is probably why I don't wear giant loose clothes to bed, because it would just annoy me to have all that fabric floating around.

3. Big comforters+sheets+blankets.
This probably goes back to the "let me turn on heater in winter, so I can wear a tank top" theory, but hey, I like the snuggly.

4. Complete darkness.
Any light in my direction will annoy me to no end. Which is why Kyle reading in bed and shining his light directly into my eyeball will get him a quick punch in the neck while he's sleeping. Kyle: "Why does my neck hurt this morning?" Me: "I have no idea..."

Yet I can fall asleep in any moving vehicle. Imagine that.
I'm off to bed. Nicely tucked in, no wrinkles, total darkness and a big comforter. Good night.
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Monday, September 19, 2005

Drive by

How is it, that in a city this big, it's possible to randomly run into people you know? You never know who's going to drive up next to you and start honking their horn wildly. This ALWAYS happens to me, I don't get it. It's as if people I know just get in their cars and go looking for me. Hello, I'm driving - distraction, anyone??

So, same thing today. Car pulls up. Honking. I look over, and it's this guy I knew from college who I hadn't seen in ten years! Ten years! How the hell did he even know it was me? He waved to me like he'd just seen me yesterday. I recognized his face, and smiled. It was weird. I wanted to ask him how he was doing and all of those things, but we made our turns and he was gone.

Granted, although I haven't seen him in ten years, a few years ago I changed doctors and by sheer odd coincidence, his MOM is now my general practitioner, and she'd tell me how he was doing and the like. So it's not that he was that far from my thoughts. But still.

Let's round up this post shall we? Point being, when I saw him, I thought, "______ is a GREAT NAME." Dude. What if I named my new Kid2 that name? First of all how would I explain that to my doctor? "Um. Yeah, he's named after your son, due to a random drive by encounter we had." God. Still. It's a darn good name. Hmmm...we'll see.
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Sunday, September 18, 2005

bye bye bitches!

Tivo has been slacking. I haven't been using it to it's full capacity, save for - *ahem* - Laguna Beach (shut up) and Big Brother.

But now - NOW - bring on the goodness...season premieres of JLU and NBC the Office (of which season one was gifted to me so graciously as a late birthday present) both start this week. As well as, (I heart *J-LEE*) My Name is Earl.

So go on Tivo. Get your groove on.

*Oh and anyone who wants to discuss the goings-on of either Laguna or BB, feel free to email me, cause I have plenty to say that I'm sure people who do not watch such shows would rather not hear about.
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Saturday, September 17, 2005

Clean. The cleanest I've been. An end to the tears and the in-between years and the troubles I've seen.

The room is halfway there - yeehaw! MY SIDE is done of course. Anyway - I have found even weirder things in the clean up.

1. A picture of Morrissey with the cutest little black rimmed glasses on. It used to be an 8' poster, that I cut down to just his head so I could take it with me to college - that was - over 14 years ago. *sigh*

2. An autograph from Ruth Buzzi circa 1986.

3. A can of silly string that Kyle bought CONVINCED that he could kill and trap spiders with it. RIGHT.

Plus a ton of things which I've decided to sell off on ebay. I can't bear to toss them, and I'd rather have someone who really wants them take it all off my hands.

Craft stuff, comic stuff, just STUFF. All things I like, but I just need to purge right now.
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Thursday, September 15, 2005

Don't play the NAME GAME

I have NO names for this new Kid2. Poor bastard. I am currently stuck on the letters "K" and "C". I am liking names that start with those letters, but still, nothing. So - whatever Britney Spears is going to name her kid, I'm going to name mine that too.

RIGHT.

Cause YOU KNOW some idiot is going to do that.

Did you know that Luther Vandross' middle name was RONZONI?? He was named after the spaghetti, I kid you not.

Meanwhile, I'm slightly pissed that Jermaine Jackson (brother of Michael) named his kid "Jermajesty." No sir, this is not a joke. Damn it to hell that I didn't think of that name first.

"JENNMAJESTY."
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Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Cool jerk

Big news - I'm in love!

It's 61 degrees and I'm in love with Fall. Cool days ahead - goodbye sweltering heat! Fall and I are gonna kick it with a snuggly blanket and some hot cocoa. I can't wait.

I'll probably still turn on the heater, yet wear a tank top, cause I'm crazy like that. Much to the dismay of my husband, and the joy of the electric company - who appreciates the cash I throw at them. Who cares, Fall's coming!
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Tuesday, September 13, 2005

That music’s lost it’s taste, so try another flavor

My commute this morning was 63 minutes. F*ck me. What did I do during those 63 minutes? I talked to Dicky Barrett of the Mighty Bosstones about how we both hate ants. Yes, I'm serious.

On a completely opposite note, "Tuesday is poncho day..." This says to me: This show is going to suck.

Yet, like a loyal follower, I watched it yesterday. It was kind of, kind of, excruciating. Why can't she just make stuff and not chat with people? I'd be happier with that. Am I still going to watch? Damn straight.
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Monday, September 12, 2005

You stupid girl

I ran into a stupid girl last week. Actually I already knew this stupid girl from before. Guess what. She's still stupid.

Jenn: "...well, this is my SECOND Kid."
StupidGirl: "Oh! You're pregnant?"

Ok, STOP. (No she was not just saying that.) First of all, if you can't tell I'm pregnant, that just means that you think I always look this fat, so screw you. I'm not thin and gorgeous, but I usually look better than this, goddamit.

Jenn: "I'm due in December."
StupidGirl: "Of this year?"

Now, how badly did I want to say, "NO, of next year, because I have one of those rare 15 month pregnancies as opposed to the normal 9 month ones."

At this point in the conversation I was over it. Goodbye Stupid Girl. Let's talk again sometime when I feel like having another stupid conversation.
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You say I'm a dreamer, we're two of a kind

Well I told you I did lots o' clean up.
Here's a picture of the aftermath:



Now the "new" area which looks so lovely and clean!
Ah. Just the way I like it.



You find some crazy shiet while cleaning up.
Here's a list of just a few things I've found.

1. - 7" single of "Hold Me Now" by the Thompson Twins on VINYL.
2. - a rubber chicken foot with sKOg's face glued to it.
3. - 30 Wonder Woman/Superman/Flash address labels with my address from 8 years ago.
4. - a picture of me when I used to wear glasses.

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Sunday, September 11, 2005

Hong Kong Phooey

Well. I worked on this project for a significant part of my life, and I have to say I'm a little bit proud of it's opening this week.

Whatever you may think of Disney and it's business practices, or cheesiness, it's all good fun. And I still heart it. A lot.
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Friday, September 09, 2005

Things get damaged. Things get broken.



Things that make me happy:
Ice cream.
Depeche Mode.

I just ate ice cream. So.
Depeche North American tour. Oh how I wish I could be there.
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moving on up

I have to move ALL my craft stuff to my bedroom, as the new Kid is coming and he needs his own space. Great. You should see the amount of crap I have. Anyway, as usual I stupidly moved most of the stuff myself, seeing as how I am impatient, and when I want it done, I want it done now. Here is a partial list of the things I moved:

a couch
two metal file cabinets
two plastic file cabinets
two computers
two computer monitors
4 giant bags of trash
15 boxes of crap
more junk than you can imagine

Yes, I know, pregnant women shouldn't be attempting such things. That image of Adrianne, in the movie Rocky, where she's moving the birdseed and goes into pre-mature labor, freaks the heck out of me, yet I still moved a couch by my lonesome. Go figure. Cleaning is good. I'm selling off a bunch of stamps and powders on ebay since I have no room anymore!
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Thursday, September 08, 2005

all work and no play

This week has been crazy. I started a new job, so far so good. I think I was born to be a consultant. No responsibilities, high pay, get in, get out. I'm only supposed to be there a week, but they must like me cause suddenly they are chomping at the bit to offer me a full time job. Hmm. We'll see. The benefit is they have a fridge stocked with all the free Red Bull you can drink. I don't drink Red Bull, not that I can anyway, so it's all the free water I can drink instead. Yip...ee. Sad.

What sucks? The commute. It's 17 miles away and takes me an hour each way. Not...happy. What is there to do while sitting in traffic for an hour? No wonder xTina would always call me on her drive home, she was bored! I'd call someone too, but who the hell is awake at 7am? No one I know.

I am one of those red dots...HERE.
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Wednesday, September 07, 2005

The loudest mouth will hail the new found way, to be king for a day

All this toof stuff made me think of when I visited the oral surgeon. He was recommended by many a dentist - apparently this dude is the best in the city or something. He kind of freaked me out. He had an odd toupee and reminded me of Dr. Frankenstein. Creepy like. Also his demeanor was a little TOO gentle. He kept lightly rubbing my shoulder until I passed out from the drugs. I woke up woozy, to his face and more shoulder rubbing. It was very...like the Seinfeld dentist episode, if you know what I mean.

Cut to years later - Woodsy goes to an oral surgeon. She says he creeps her out and she feels as if he was going to 'violate' her in her sleep. I know she lives in the same vicinity as me, so I say, "Is your doctor's name..." AND IT WAS. Hello freak show.

Anyway - I got an appointment today and - tadahh! Toof, fixed! Temporarily. The dentist said I need to come back in January for a crown. A crown! Yay! Oh wait, I don't think he means like a tiara...Darn.
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Monday, September 05, 2005

My toof

So I am totally retarded. What's new right?

The Kid and I went to dinner with sKog tonight. I did something only a mother would do for her child, and that is, chew up ice and spit it back out in tiny pieces so that he could chew on it. Yes, I realize that is digusting, I don't mind if you will no longer read this blog, I don't blame you. But what else can you do when your Kid wants ice and it will keep him from being fussy?

Well, turns out, me, not so smart. In the middle of dinner I kept rudely sticking my finger in my mouth insisting that there was something stuck in my teeth. Good thing sKog loves me no matter what, cause apparently that didn't spoil his dinner. When I got home I looked in the mirror, and hello...part of a tooth is missing. SON OF A....

Thank god it's NOT one of my front teeth, hillbilly style, but still, part of a molar and not good. Not good at all. Especially when you are not allowed to have dental work done while pregnant. So dumb.

Ow. I am worried.
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Sunday, September 04, 2005

It's STILL my birthday!

Wow. It's really cool and quite touching, to get a gift from someone you don't even know. Today I got a very very nice custom made sterling silver charm bracelet from RandomJen. (Yes, all my friends are named Jen. Even the guys. Kidding.) She sells all different kinds, mostly Boston themed, a nod to her old 'hood. Mine was mommy themed. I added her to my links page. She's soooo crafty.

Then I was gifted by Kathleen, including a pack of her very own cards. There was a clock in there too, which...of course, I can't figure out how to change the time. Always my downfall. So it will just be 3:32 forever, I guess.

THEN, I was gifted by Alexis, cool scrapbooking stuff and a hilarious LUV2BLOG notepad. Very funny.


And also a plethora of kitchen-y things from Myra, yay! And more Mentos. One can never have enough Mentos, I say.


Wow, what a nice extended birthday! What nice friends!
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Friday, September 02, 2005

He doesn't even drive it. He just sits there and rubs it with a diaper all day.

I need to be careful when I'm out and about. These people have found me on the street, which means it's just as easy for people that I DON'T want to find me. Such as...crazy drivers who want to kill me.

This particular morning I was feeling fine and dandy, out running errands, sans Kid. I ACTUALLY thought to myself, 'Wow, what a nice day for a pleasant drive.' Scratch that. Cut to 2 minutes later, when I'm pulling out of Starbucks.

I'm in the left turn lane, and there is a woman facing me, who I THINK is going to go straight. The light turns green. I wait. She doesn't move. At this point I'm thinking, 1)Maybe she has a red light on her side, while I have a green on mine (possible in L.A.) or 2) She is a dumbass not paying attention. Let's go for 2, shall we?

I make my left. She hightails it right behind me, honking all the way. She pulls up next to me. I look over, she's older, maybe 50's, a white lady in a nice black luxury sedan. I roll down my window and our confrontation goes a little something like this:

*wagging her finger at me, looking over her expensive shades*
CrazyWoman: "You can't turn left until you wait for me to go!!"
Jenn: "I DID wait for you, and you just sat there."
CrazyWoman: "It doesn't matter, you are supposed to wait!!"
Jenn: "For how long?? You didn't even move, what was I supposed to do??"
CrazyWoman: "YOU WAIT FOR ME AS LONG AS IT TAKES!!!"

Ok freaky lady. This is L.A. If I wait for your slow ass, the people behind me will be pissed off, and rightly so, if you ask me. A big bad F*word, was all ready to come out of my mouth, but again, not wanting to continue this nonsense, I gave her the "oh-no-you-didn't" head shake and rolled up my window. My perfect morning drive was ruined. I should have thrown one of these at her.
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Thursday, September 01, 2005

Pretzel...Jello?

I KNOW. When I heard the name of this dessert, I wanted to vomit. It's my cousin's specialty - Pretzel Jello. I had visions of pretzels hanging helplessly in a tomb of jello mold.

What it is, actually - is a take on a graham cracker crust - just using pretzels instead. Innovative? Dunno. But it's not bad! The salt-i-ness is pretty good in fact!

Here's the recipe.
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