Frankly, Mr. Shankly, I'm a sickening wreck

Ever have one of those days, where EVERYTHING's gone wrong? And I'm not talking about me, but to those around me. It seems as if everyone I know is having problems, lately.

I should be happy that things are good around here. Well, good if you consider that I was not only barfed upon today, but peed on as well. Thank god, only twice. Now, that's a good day!
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I know what boys like

No Office tonight? Damn it. The one time I'm free to watch television.

So our first few nights at home haven't gone as smoothly as I'd have hoped. We came home only to find out that the Kid has stomach flu. Good lord. Up all night feeding the baby, then the minute you lay your head on the pillow, there goes the cries of "MOMMMYYY!!!" Not only that, I think the baby has caught a mild version of it.

Other than that, it seems that the Kid has finally realized that the baby is here to stay. The first day he was NOT happy. Now he'll go up and pat him on the head and peek in to make sure he's alright. Aw. This whole two kid deal is going to work out after all.
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sweet dreams are made of...

If I could leave the house, I'd go here - Hollywood & Highland. It is starting to become a sweet tooth's dream. There's a Nestle Tollhouse bakery, Lickety Split's frozen custard, and now, best of all, Beard Papa's cream puffs.

Don't let the freaky name fool you, from what I hear these puffs are to die for, and you'll never taste anything like it.

Now if only they'd deliver.
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Take me baby - or leave me

Today the husband and Kid went out to let me rest. When they came back I said to the Kid, "Hi baby! Where did you go today?"
He said, "Starbucks." WHAT.

My husband has done so many thoughtful and helpful things since this baby came out, but tonight he went to Starbucks and brought me...nothing. Poo. After sacrificing for 9 months, I can finally drink whatever I want - dammit. You'd think pushing something out of your v*gina would at least get you a sympathy frappuccino.
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Happy Turkey Day

How was Thanksgiving? I had a turkey. A seven pound one.

Looking forward to a day of yummy food and parades, it started a little differently. My water broke. My husband assured me that I just peed my pants. Hardly. It's not my fault he was up til 4am playing web Sudoku. So he begrudgingly got out of bed, and we went to the hospital.

As with my other delivery, pretty smooth sailing. I was told I should keep that to myself since others are not so lucky. I'm sure. If you've ever had a baby, you know that the 'numbers' need to get up over 100 - that's when you feel the major contractions. Without the epidural, whimpy me was crying out, at around 35. THANK GOD FOR DRUGS. With the epidural I just sat back and kicked it. No prob.

Once I got up there, it was pretty quick. After about 10 minutes and three pushes. There he was. Kid2. Happy, healthy, and ready to face the world.


**Oh and congrats Anne, you won the contest!
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You had me at 'aliens'.

Hey Tom Cruise.
You've ruined my Thanksgiving-eve.
At least you have something interesting to watch.
I watched War of the Worlds.
I'd like those two hours of my life back.
Thanks.
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Dwight: "Battlestar Galactica?"Michael: "Whatever stupid show you want to watch."

Day after Thanksgiving - aka "Black Friday" - is when all the holiday sales start. We're talking super doorbuster morning sales. Now, you can preview them online.

You know where I'll be. Same place as last year. Craft store. 6am. I don't care if I'm in labor, at 96 cents a yard for fabric, it's worth it.
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jive turkey

Well, I found out why people have been emailing me like crazy for this "How to Brine a Turkey" recipe. Apparently Regis & Kelly made one this morning. I have it on Tivo, so I've yet to watch it, that and Oprah's fave things, which aired yesterday. I don't know why I watch that anyway, it just ticks me off that she doesn't give ME stuff for free.

Back to the brine - so I finally got the measurements from my mom and now it's on the instruction page.

It really makes a moist flavorful turkey. I'd do it this year...if I could move.
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They're two, they're four,

Ok. I am bored. Seriously. I am inventing stuff to do, I am so bored. Just pulling out material and randomly sewing things.

So we moved the Kid into a 'big boy bed', in order to get the crib ready for the baby. My Kid loves Thomas the Tank Engine, but I wasn't about to pay $50 for a set of licensed sheets. I think I'm a good mom, but I'm a poor mom too. So I made him a blanket and a pillowcase, from Thomas fabric I bought. Good enough. The Kid's two, he doesn't know the diff. I then made him a christmas stocking with the leftover material.

If I could find Curious George fabric, I'd pimp that bed out monkey-style.



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The merriest place on earth! Sometimes...

So how do you make up for a crap day? Why go to Disneyland of course! So that's where we headed last night. With promises of Christmas parades, holiday themed rides and of course, fireworks and SNOW!!

Well, turns out most of those promises were empty. We saw the Christmas parade (hello it's been the same every year for how long) and there was one "incident" where Pluto was sitting on top of the float, and his tail was placed in a particularly awkward position, forcing Disney security to wave their hands frantically and tell him to close his legs. Good lord. I bet someone took a picture of that for the internet.

Christmas themed rides? Forget it, they closed "It's a Small World" for the fireworks SPECTACULAR. Spectacular? Not so much. People sat on Main St. for hours saving a seat and guess what? It was deemed too windy, so screw the fireworks. Ha, you dumb bastards could have been on rides instead of sitting in the street for two hours.

However, they did make it "SNOW." Disney is known for their holiday snow, and it's very cute. My kid wasn't fooled. He said, "bubbles!" Yep Kid, those were soap bubbles, not real snow. I know cause some fell in my mouth and that was nasty. I'm sure the midwesterners were in awe of the life-like snow, or wait, were they more in awe of the California natives "ohhing" and "ahhing" over the soap bubbles being shot from cannons over their heads?

Eh, I still had fun anyway, cause I got to eat ice cream. And ride one ride that was ok for pregger ladies! However, don't get me started on how they denied me entrance into the park...that's another story for another day...
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Oh let it be

Ever had a bad day? A day so bad there are tears and yelling and POO? And that wasn't just the Kid, it was me too. Well, NOT the poo part. Thanks.

Yeah. That was my night, Saturday night. So I holed myself up in my room, wiped my tears, sewed and listened to Madonna 'Confessions..' on repeat. There's nothing a little dance music can't fix.
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jingle bells, it's goddam hot

Sadly, no. I did not go into labor. However, it is craft show season and I went to two of them today.

I usually sign up to have a booth at few of them for the holiday season - but I thought FOR SURE I'd have a baby by now, (yeah right), so I didn't sign up for any. Just great.

One of the ones we went to was outside, and today happened to be a HOT - 85 degrees. Santa was out for the kids. He was singing Jingle Bells, but every now and then he'd replace the words to bitch about the weather. HAHAH. He was not so jolly. Just saying.
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deck the halls

Done and done.

I have decorated the house for Christmas. Oh stop moaning. I know it's not even Thanksgiving yet, but I'm trying to beat this kid to the punch, but he just won't come out. So I'm going to go ahead and start Christmas early, with or without him.

I also bought two totally unnecessary but totally rad things at the craft store today. A sticker machine (makes ANYTHING into stickers) and a ribbon organizer. Could I have made my own ribbon organizer out of a shoe box? Of course. But why should I when I have a perfectly good 40% off coupon at my disposal?

Will I go to hell for saying this? I kinda want a fake xmas tree this year. *gasp*. I dunno. It seems easy to just pull that sh*t out of a box and then put it back. Course there's the storage issue. Of which we have none.

The husband says I'll lose interest and go back to a 'real' tree next year. Guess what. I've come to the end of this post...and I've lost interest already.

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laguna beach

More, for the 'WHAT?', category.
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Don't look at me that way...

KROQ ALMOST ACOUSTIC CHRISTMAS 2005 NIGHT TWO
lineup

Depeche Mode
Coldplay
White Stripes
Jack Johnson
The Bravery
Death Cab For Cutie
Hot Hot Heat
Nada Surf

Check out the date: December 11th

Godammit!
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It's the thought that counts

So it's a week til Thanksgiving and you're telling me it's 80 degrees? Kill me.

Thanksgiving is that time of year when I have to start thinking of what I want to put on my list for our annual 'Secret Santa' family gift exchange. This year, I really have no idea. Christmas is all about kids. So they come first. Still, there are some things out there I wouldn't mind having in my possession, if given the choice:

NARS Velvet Matte Lip Pencil
in 'Sex Machine'
Pretty, pretty pink.
sephora - $22



Tea infuser and glass mug
This will be nice for my Japanese Cherry Tea.
Dean and Deluca - $20



Murad Winter Hydration Set
Winter sucks the life out of my face. Mm. And pomegrante lip therapy sounds yummy.
sephora - $50


Paula Deen & Friends Cookbook
I love me some Paula Deen. Or maybe I just love me some southern cooking. Either way, I want to see try some of the recipes in this book.
amazon.com - $16.50


Tyler Florence - Eat this book
Yep. He's a cutie.
amazon.com - $21.95



Umbrian Clay Toothpaste
Now while this sounds awfully interesting, at $18, maybe it's not interesting enough.
Sephora - $18



Ice cream cone holder
Yes. I want this. Badly.
Sur la Table - $7.95



Subscription to "O" or "O at home" magazine
I've always wanted to read this, but I hate buying things without a subscription, it's so expensive.
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Dwight: 'As Lex Luthor said to his father, "You have no idea what I'm capable of."'

I say this every week, I swear the Office makes me cringe. But...I...love...it. Dwight psyching himself up in the stairwell scared me.

So...for those of you following at home, was that the season finale of Laguna Beach or what? I'm kind of over this show and wonder if it will be like that British documentary "7 UP" where they follow kid's lives and go and check on the kids years later to see what they're up to. I think they are up to "42 UP" now with those documentaries. Amazing.

Anyhow, back to meaningless crap, LC and Stephen should just get married already. But I'm sure they'll just spend the rest of their lives being in love with each other and get married to other people. Oh well. We'll see how season 3 goes...

This post was meaningless as well. I just wanted an excuse to put this picture up. Cause it made me laugh.

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Big deal

I reached into my drawer and pulled out a small pair of underwear. I wondered whose they were. Turns out, they used to be mine. USED TO BE, as in 9 months ago, when I USED TO be skinny(-er). Good lord.

It just reminded me that my good friend asked me to be her maid of honor in her wedding next year. That gives me a good 10 months to lose all this baby weight and grow my hair out long.

Still. With the first Kid I was actually 20 pounds heavier at this stage. 20 pounds?? Yikes. So hopefully I'll get back to normal by the wedding. Wait. Does that entail not eating ice cream? Forget it. I'll just take my chances.
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On the move

Holy crap.

I left the house at 9am, went to about 50 different places, Office Max, Target, Trader Joe's, Joann's, Aaron Brothers, the bank, just to name a few.

All this running around, I just got back home around 2pm. Still no baby. This Kid. He's killing me. Maybe he'll just stay in there til 2006.
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Will there ever be a boy that can swim faster than a shark?

I'm picking my brother up from the airport tomorrow.

He was in Slough.

I'm not even kidding you.
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Let me take you on a trip, around the world and back

Well. I'm a mom.
No I didn't have the baby.
We got a minivan.

Even though I was the one totally against it, I gotta say though, this one's pretty rockin'. It's in a hot color you don't see that often, i.e. not white, and a nice smooth ride. So yeah, I guess I like it. The salesman said it won the award for the 'most cupholders,' which seems lame. I mean, who needs to carry 15 different drinks at one time, in the car?

Does this mean I'll have to ditch my heels and skirts for MOM JEANS? Yeesh.
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Dues

The baby contest ENDS tonight!

Last chance to guess...
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Have yourself a merry little Christmas

It's finally cold, (cool) and the stores feel Christmas-y. Which is a good thing since I plan on being done with my gift stuff by next week. Just in case. You never know.

I put up all new holiday designs in the shop, I'm ready to go! I am definitely in the holiday spirit!

Today my Kid kept saying "I love mommy." Over and over. Some days he annoys me and I don't feel like dealing with him. Then I realize that someday he won't want to say "I love mommy" anymore. Kinda breaks your heart. Maybe that's why people have 16 kids. So they can always have that 'child-like innocence of love feeling', over and over.

All I know is - he is going to have a rockin' Christmas. Like I said, this Kid loves trains - and I plan to have a toy train running around the tree for him when he wakes up Christmas morning. Course I may just have a screaming newborn for him Christmas morning too.
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The great pumpkin

Well, I started making these pumpkin chocolate chip muffins, then I started having contractions so I had to sit down. But I'm back up! So don't worry, so far the baby contest is still up and running!

These muffins are yummy and good. Especially on a cold rainy day like today.
Recipe HERE.
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It tastes so good when it touches your lips

I found it!

It even came with a hand written note,
but I'll spare you the details.
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golfer: "What's his handicap?"Earl: "Oh, he's just slow."

Ok. So this whole post is about tv. I haven't watched in a while and I finally got around to clearing out the tivo.

The Office.
Aw, Jim and Pam listening to the iPod together. I never want this show to end. Never ever.

My Name is Earl.
God I love this show. And not just cause I heart Jason Lee, bigtime. I don't know how much longer they can keep this up, but I still laugh and laugh. AND he's hosting SNL this weekend...with Foo Fighters!! Jason Lee and Dave Grohl?? Yay for two of my fave tall-dark-haired men.

Everybody Hates Chris.
I like this show. The dad cracks me up, he's so cheap. Two Musketeers bars. Hilarious.

Laguna Beach.
Good lord. I am not 12 years old, but I can't stop watching this.

Boondocks:
So I was kind of disappointed in Boondocks. Maybe cause I waited so long for it to come on tv. Well, maybe not disappointed, considering I laughed really hard through a lot of it. All I know is, next week, it's all about R.Kelly peeing on people. That's good stuff.
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NAME MY BABY - contest!

Got your attention, didn't I? Hell no are you naming my Kid.

Let's get serious. This Kid is going to be arriving anywhere between now and the first week of December. When Leslie had her eighth kid, I mean, third, she held a contest. So here's me, blatantly copying it.

Whoever guesses closest to the date and time of the birth, gets a nice prize! Yay for prizes!

Things you may need to know. The first Kid came a week early, on a Tuesday, and appeared around 5 in the evening. The due date for this one, is supposedly December 10th. However, we all know this Kid wants out just as much as I do. I went to the doctor today and I am ALREADY dialated 3cm, which is almost halfway there. Yikes.

Just leave your guess in the comments, the deadline will be the end of the week. For fun you might as well give me your option on a name for the Kid too. However I guarantee that I won't be chosing it and no, naming the Kid is NOT the prize.

All I know is, I'm off bedrest. Not that I ever did what the doctor said, but at least I was honest and told her. She said it doesn't matter anyway, if the baby comes tomorrow, she ain't stopping it.

Good luck! Wait, you should be wishing me luck, I'm the one pushing this Kid out...

*go HERE to see guesses!
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Take this job and shove it.

My husband told me to get a job. What kind of job am I supposed to get while on bedrest, I ask you??

Meanwhile, late last night, my friend IM's me, and says this:
1. Are you in bed?
2. Do you have a camcorder?

Granted, there was like, an hours worth of unrelated conversation in between, but when you put the two sentences together, it's funny. And no. That won't be how I'll make money for my new job.
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I am gifted

Well - FINALLY I got around to posting all the cool things I got for my internet shower! Dang, I'm a lazy bastard. But to be fair. I'm on "bedrest." HA! Excuses!

I started this whole thing by throwing Leslie a shower, then Mipmup followed and threw Kristin a shower, now I got one of my own!

I can't tell you how loved it made me feel to get things from people I had never met, people who just read this junk I write and sometimes find it funny. I was so touched, this second Kid is really loved. So here are the pictures from the nicest of friends, Leslie, Ani, Giao, Jen, Alexis, Myra, Nanette, Mipmup & Shiz.

Oh and the husband thinks you're all freaks cause you don't know me and gave us nice things. How appreciative, ha!
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You're it.

Fine. I'll do it. But I don't think anyone cares.

20 things.

1. As a kid I was a good golfer. I could hit a ball 300 yards off the tee.
2. I met the Pope. Not this one. The one before.
3. I wore glasses up until 5 years ago.
4. I was going to major in Existential Philosophy, but went into
architecture instead.
5. I was a radio dj in college. That's where the name justJENN came from.
6. I have an autographed picture from Will Ferrell. Somewhere.
7. I used to understand and speak French. I've forgotten all of it, but sometimes still "think" in French.
8. I won't buy things if the font is ugly.
9. I hate polka dots. Hate them.
10. I don't like meat, but I'll eat Titos. (I doubt it's meat, anyway)
11. I dream in color.
12. My doctor thought I had an eating disorder cause I used to throw up so often. Turns out I just have a weak stomach. Plus my husband said, "I thought bulemics were supposed to be skinny." Rude.
13. I am obsessed with black heeled shoes.
14. My cousin visited me and said, "Why is there a picture of Rick Astley hanging in your garage?"
15. I have a picture of Rick Astley hanging in my garage.
16. My dream was to work for D*sney. I've worked on three of their theme parks.
17. My doctor just told me my cervix is soft and fluffy. You don't need to know that, but when I heard it - it made me laugh and disgusted me at the same time.
18. If I have something to drink, I will always leave the last bit of it. I won't finish it.
19. If cotton candy is for sale, I have to buy it. And it has to be pink.
20. I won an award for sewing and cooking when I was 13.
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Who he play for?

I order things on the internet, and forget about them. Then when I open my door and see a package, I think, "Yippee! Somebody loves me!" Then I realize - crap. Nobody loves me, I love myself. Poo.

What else have I been doing while resting? Wrapping Christmas gifts for one. I designed and cut up all these xmas tags to put on the gifts. In the "from" area I included the new baby's "temporary" name. Um, if it turns out we don't name the baby that, well, I guess I'll just cross it out and rewrite it. (*second kids get the shaft*).

My friend said the names I choose for my boys are too Southern, and that I need to move to the kids to Georgia, where she lives. Well, one thing's for certain. I won't be naming my kid, THIS.
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The district sleeps alone tonight after the bars turn out their lights

Rather than talk about my insatiable need to watch Laguna Beach, (seriously why is Jason such an ass?), I will instead tell you three things have happened in the last few weeks.

1. My tummy is HUGE.
2. My face has become ugly.
3. My computer is now in my bedroom.

While the first two will supposedly go away in the next few weeks, that last one is permanent. All the office/craft stuff is now right next to my bed. It's cramped, but if I wanted to, I could roll out of bed, check my email and roll back. Which I suppose is convenient since I am "supposed" to be on bedrest.

As if I don't have enough sleep problems, it also means that I get to struggle falling asleep while my husband plays computer games all night. Now I wake up at 3am and yell at him to "GO TO SLEEP," without once getting out of my comfy bed. As you know, light, sound and a not perfectly made bed, all make for a cranky-Jenn. Sid Meier can kiss my ass.
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This is a message. To let everyone know that I can physically dominate them.

Here's an "Office" fact - you know the temp "Ryan"? He's actually a producer/writer for the show. He said that when the characters are sitting at their computers they are actually IMing or playing Sodoku. Interesting.

So - I have known some "internet friends" for a several years now. Some people I've met and some I haven't. It's weird how you can be good friends with people you have never met. But one thing is clear, they are all really nice and seem to like me for some odd reason! What am I talking about - in celebration of this new baby, I had a SURPRISE shower thrown for little old me! Wow, I feel so loved!

Thanks to Leslie and Ani, and all the girls for such nice thoughts. Gifts have been coming everyday and they are all sweet things for this little boy, who hopefully will make an appearance in the next coming weeks.

I'll be posting pictures of all the cool things I've received. I really am very touched. Second children don't get the shaft, after all!
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