Tuesday, January 31, 2006

"Let's get some f*ckin' french toast!"

I know I used that quote before, but this time I mean it. Let's get some f*ckin' french toast, yeah!

When I was growing up my mom made pancakes or waffles every single Sunday. It was like a ritual, watching her make the batter while she wore these horrible Lanz nightgowns, which of course, she got me a matching one. This is why I wear a tank top to bed nowadays, I can't relive the nightmare that is the Lanz nightgown.

Anyway, I carry on the tradition of weekend breakfasts for my Kid. I am on a cookie cutter kick. You may see examples of this soon. But for now, I decided to use them to make breakfast fun.

As you can see, a very good friend gave the Kid a rockin' monkey plate. Goddam, all plates should have monkeys on them! Also I added that 'fruit garnish' just for Kat, since she makes fun of the fact that I garnish my Kid's meals. The whipped cream with sprinkles? Well that's just another part of the HIGH FAT DIET.

This isn't much of a recipe, more of a 'how to.'

Monday, January 30, 2006

So I turned the radio on, I turned the radio up,
and this woman was singing my song

I like Lisa Loeb. I think she is cute and has mad style. I attribute this to the fact that she collects Hello Kitty and has a black hoodie with a cute skull on the back that I'd like very badly. I was sad to hear that she and Dweezil Zappa broke up. I thought they were a cool couple.

Now Lisa has gone and committed the sin of all sins, a reality show. And to make matters worse, it's about her going out to find a husband. Some of these guys she goes out with are total wankers. She is better than that and it seems a little desperate, which makes me sad. I'm still going to watch it of course, are you crazy?

Although she went and showed her thong in last week's episode. Oh no she didn't! (*cue 'ghetto head shake and finger wag' from me.*) This may have been the last straw as far as I'm concerned. Thongs are a no no. I don't believe in thongs, I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me. Or...something.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Burn you out of my mind, I know

Time: 10:30pm
Eating: ice cream (what else)
iPod party shuffle:
"Revolution" - Robbie Williams
"Both Ends Burning" Roxy Music
"Old Red Eyes is Back" The Beautiful South
"Pretty Vacant" The Sex Pistols
"What's My Name" DMX

Sunday night. Catching up on blogs. Reading other people's blogs is always interesting because I tend to find weird connections between my brain and what other people are writing about. It's like they're reading my mind and posting. Freaky.

Like today. 'betheboy Will' went to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles for the very first time. (See, that's what happens when you're a vegetarian, he didn't know what he was missing.) And ALL WEEK I have been dying to go to Roscoe's! Coincidence?!

If there's one thing I know it's Southern cooking. It's odd that 'bffjeningeorgia' lives in the South and I do not. Cause not only do I eat southern food quite often, and but I cook it rather well, and I like to watch it on tv. Yet I'm not 300 pounds - go figure. (Gotta be the ice cream.) Roscoe's - THE Southern California institution. I used to go often when I lived closer to one. I miss it.

One of my fave reads has always been Franklin Avenue. Reading about anything L.A. excites me cause I love my town. I was also quite humbled to find out recently, that Maria actually reads this here blog, which makes me wish I wrote about more important things instead of just my shoes. *sigh* Hi, I'm boring.

Today was a post about the great downtown Fine Arts building being sold. I worked in that exact building for several years. It's gorgeous and used for so many movies and commercials, that I recognize it instantly and always feel a little proud when it comes on screen.

The location leaves something to be desired, since not only was I once attacked by a homeless person there, but my friend was nearly knifed. But hey, it's still a great building. I remember working late one night around midnight and looking out and seeing Spawn climbing the building. Apparently they were filming the movie that day. Or I was just high on glue. Either, or.

Edina: There's no difference between me and the table, me and a tree, me and Madonna...
Saffy: Except you have a fatter bottom.

The Kid's ice cream diet? Not working. He's still a stick.

Against my husband's concerns about not having a svelte wife, I have also gone on the ice cream diet. Um, not for any reason other than the fact that there is a ton of ice cream in the freezer and mmm, it's yummy.

So with all this ice cream eating, can you believe it...I've LOST TEN POUNDS since last week. Three weeks after I had the baby I was my pre-pregnancy weight, now I am far below that. And you know me, there was no exercise involved, as I hate to sweat.

So maybe I'm on to something here. I can market this diet and make billions. Billions, I say!
"Eat ice cream after every meal, lose weight instantly!"

For those who care to test my new diet plan, here's a coupon for a free sundae. Mmm... I feel the pounds melting away...

Friday, January 27, 2006

Your shrunken head, looking down on me above

I need money. Why? Well many, many years ago, I went for a root canal to a Butcher Dentist who screwed me over so badly, that I am still having to deal with it today. No, it's not the 'Perv Dentist' that Woodsy and I went to, this is a totally different one that Cool Beans went to as well. What is with me and the bad luck dentists??

So, I have been going to a new NICE Dentist, who - unfortunately I have had to see four times in the last two weeks. That sucks. Course, I now have an affinity for easy listening, particularly Lionel Ritchie. Anyway, Nice Dentist calmy explained that yesterday, he looked at my x-ray and he thinks there is an instrument left in the tooth that the Butcher Dentist last touched!! And by instrument I do not mean a flute or a tuba, I mean a goddam metal pick or something.

Good news, I don't feel any pain right now. Bad news, they are going in next week to look at it - AND - get this, they might have to take out my whole tooth - AND (it gets worse) I might be paralyzed. Uh say what?

Anyway, all this makes me sad. This dental work is sure to cost a fortune. What's a sad girl to do but make lists of things she'd rather spend her money on?

The Body Acoustic - Cyndi Lauper
I love Cyndi Lauper and she has been ahwking this thing on every talk show on tv. I'm sold.

The Life Aquatic Studio Sessions - Seu Jorge
I love the Life Aquatic Soundtrack. I also love David Bowie. I have been wanting this but have not gotten around to it.

Made in China - Juliana Hatfield
Much like Aimee Mann, I will buy anything this woman puts out.

Warnings/Promises - Idlewild
I LOVE THEM. How do I now have this already?

The Complete Stone Roses - Stone Roses
Oh please. I know this is all rehash, but I want it.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Pam+spam+hamster = Spamster

Thursday night. Two things about love and one thing that is not.

1. Rob Dickinson. All night. My name is love.

2. Watching the Office tonight I cringed through almost the entire show, til it got to the end and it was all sweetness. Aw. Pam leaving messages for Jim, ALL DAY. Love.

3. Someone calling me at 10pm asking me to 'conduct a survey' where I replied, "Are you fucking kidding me? At 10 at night?" prompting them to hang up. I suppose that means I got my point across, right? Perhaps it was my use of the f* word that put them off. That's not love.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Look me up in the yellow pages,
I will be your rock of ages

I received this very cool gift of a Robbie Williams calendar. Turns out I have a lot of music related stuff all over the house. Not as much as I used to, due to moving rooms around and all. I had lots o' DM and Erasure stuff, which is somewhere in the closet now. Anyway, here are some random pictures...

New Robbie Calendar.
"Did you ever meet a sexier male chauvinist pig?"

These are hanging in what USED to be my office, now the Kid's room. Someday he's going to wonder, what the f*?
Those are the original vinyl covers, bitches! VINYL.

In the garage. Don't ask. But I'm "never gonna give him up."

See Will? Told you I had these. Gold plated Beatles records.
That actually play. Though I've never tried it.

Click to make images larger. If you care.

If Ferris dies, he's going to donate his eyes to Stevie Wonder

What would you do if you only had a short time to live? No I'm not talking about the Queen Latifah movie. I'm being serious. Very serious.

I just found out that someone I know may only have a short time to live. Of course I'm hoping beyond hope that this doesn't happen and she recovers, and life...well, will go on.

But it made me think, what would I do in that situation? Would I do all the things I never got to do? Make a list and go down, checking things off as fast as possible? Would I see everyone I wanted to see for one last time? Or would I just stand in the kitchen frosting cupcakes...waiting. I don't know.

What would you do?

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Running through my head secretly
The shouts of the boys in the factory

Ever see people on the street with iPods in hand, and wonder what they are listening to? Maybe it's just me. I'm nosy like that.
My iPod party shuffle, tonight.

"Are Friends Electric" - Tubeway Army
"We all Feel Better in the Dark" - Pet Shop Boys
"Gouge Away" - Pixies
"Mexico" - James Taylor
"Hello Goodbye" - Paul McCartney
"Cinderella Undercover" - Oingo Boingo
"Big Poppa" - Notorious B.I.G.
"Absolute Beginners" - The Jam
"Death of an Interior Decorator" - Death Cab for Cutie
"Quand J'En Aurai Assez" - Charles Aznavour
"Circles" - BT
"Ice Machine" - Depeche Mode
"The Model" - Kraftwerk
"You're Gonna Need Me" -Robert Cray

Taste so good, makes a grown man cry

As I stood in the meat aisle of the market, there was a young-ish guy, stocking the shelves. As I looked over my choices, and he came up to me...

Butcher: "That beef is perfect for hamburgers."
Jenn:"Well, I'm making shepherd's pie..."
Butcher: "
SHEPHERD'S PIE! Wow, I haven't had that forever!"
Jenn: "I haven't made it in years, so we'll see how it goes."
Butcher: "I used to BEG my mom to make that for me!"

Isn't it funny how certain foods can bring back memories or create such emotion? The guy was so excited I felt like I should invite him over since he wanted some so badly, geez.

Anyway, how did I get here? Oh yeah. I was watching Tyler Florence teach that dumb girl how to make shepherd's pie on "How to Boil Water."

Try it out. And just think, if you screw it up, *cutie* Tyler Florence can always come over and help you out.
Here's the recipe.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Breakfast of champions

Continuing on with the HIGH FAT DIET - I give you...
the Kid's breakfast:

Sunday, January 22, 2006

I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride

O.G.: "We bought chili from Costco. It was so good!"
Jenn: "What brand was it?"
O.G.: "Something western...'Bareback Mountain?'"
*me choking on my water*
Jenn: "Um...I HIGHLY DOUBT that's the name of the brand..."

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Ladies love me, girls adore me

It's 2am. I'm listening to the Replacements.
No cookies to be found. Damn.

In high school I exclusively listened to alternative/goth or Manchester bands. So imagine my "bffJenInGeorgia" 's (That's you sister, don't pretend you're not reading this...) surprise when I knew all the words to "It Takes 2" by Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock.
Another to add to the weird collection of songs I know by heart.
(That's by heart, not by "HEART." Thanks.)

"It Takes 2" Rob Base & DJ EZ Rock
"Elephant Stone" The Stone Roses
"Komm Gib Mir Deine Hand"
(I Wanna Hold Your Hand - in German) The Beatles
"When Smokey Sings" ABC
"Story of My Life" Social D
"Save A Prayer" Duran Duran
"California Love" Tupac

Thursday, January 19, 2006

The sweetest infection, of body and mind
sweetest injection, of any kind

So, the baby, he's HUGE, right? While the Kid, he's super mini. It's like they have different parents or something. The Kid went to the doctor today and she was not happy with the fact that he is 2 years old, weighs a mere 20 pounds and is kinda short, albeit, proportional. So, get this, she put him on an all ICE CREAM DIET. No shit. How crazy is that? I wish I had that diet.

Basically, I'm supposed to 'fatten' him up or we'll have to give him growth hormones. I really don't think his mini-ness is that bad, so I don't want to go that route. The Kid eats like a pig, so I don't know what else to do. She said give him anything fatty, add butter to all his food and feed him tons of cheese. Here I am trying to be a good mom, giving him a bowl of grapes for a snack when I should be giving him a bowl of bacon, apparently.

Today was night one of the all ice cream diet. He had chocolate ice cream, on a cone, with sprinkles. Ate the whole damn thing. He tells me tomorrow he wants vanilla. I've created a monster. Think this will be enough for a week's worth of dinner??

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Everybody dies frustrated and sad
and that is beautiful.

It's 2am, I'm eating cookies and listening to Kajagoogoo. Damn. I really need to go to bed.

While scrolling through the iPod, I realized that there are some songs that I know EVERY SINGLE WORD to. Not ony do I know all the words - but seriously know every single beat, pause and chorus, as if I wrote the damn song myself.

"But Not Tonight" Depeche Mode
"Ask" The Smiths
"Bizarre Love Triangle" New Order
"When I Need You" Erasure
"Everyday I Write the Book" Elvis Costello
"Express Yourself" Madonna
"Question of Lust" Depeche Mode
"Don't Let's Start" They Might Be Giants

Yikes. Is that weird? It's weird, right? There's way more on this list, but I don't want to completely reveal how dork-tastic I am. I could sing them all to prove it to you, but that's not happening.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Iron Chef, Battle: SPRINKLES!

SO - where did I take the Kid on his birthday - why, Disneyland, where else!

I took him on Pirates of the Caribbean for the first time - uh, big mistake. He's a bit too young. And even though they cut out the raping and pillaging, I guess it's still scary. Skeletons and toothless men, scary, who knew? Uh oh, bad mommy. I think I just screwed myself, as far as him not being afraid of the dark.

If you go to the Plaza Inn, you can celebrate with all the other kiddies, and there is much joy and merriment. You get a birthday cake to decorate, a cute hat, and some tasty punch. Mickey and Minnie also make an appearance, and even though the Kid asked to see them all day, what did he do when they went to give him a hug? Well, he freaked of course. Good lord. Nothing like a giant mouse to set you off.

Here's the Kid's version of the birthday cake, decorated. He's got a thing for sprinkles, obviously. He's should have his own food network show, this kid.


Monday, January 16, 2006

Love you boy, till I fall
The child in me again, he plays the fool

Two years ago today, I went into labor and became a mommy. It's weird. I still don't feel like a mom. I know I am an excellent wife, but a mom, I dunno, not so much. I do my best, but I don't think that's quite good enough. Still, here I am. And now a mother of two, no less!

When do you become comfortable in your role as a mother? When you hear the words, "MOMMYYYY!" being yelled across a department store and just 'know' that you're being called? Or when you start not caring about touching another person's poo? Maybe it's when you don't care if the whole world sees your boob, just as long as your infant will stop crying?

Perhaps it's when you've played toy trains for two hours and not even realized what time it is. Or when you give up your meal and end up eating chicken nuggets instead. Or maybe, just maybe, it's when your Kid says, "I love Mommy," and nestles his head on your chest as he falls asleep.

I think it's the last one. Despite my doubts, the Kid is alive and well, and seems to be a-ok. I've never felt so much love. Happy birthday, kiddo.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Get up off my back*Save a heart attack
Ain't nobody Humpin' Around

Good Advice.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

...he's the cheeky one...

After last year's GIANT 1st birthday bash, and with me having to plan one for the new baby, I've been totally lax on the Kid's bday. He's turning 2 in a few days and I didn't really plan anything. Again, Jenn = bad mommy.

So I panicked, told the family to come over next weekend, and I headed to the party store. The house is going to be pimped out Thomas style. Is it weird that only adults are going to be there? Well, I'll make them wear those Thomas train hats anyway.

I was thinking maybe some hot dogs, maybe some ice cream, Definitely some cupcakes!

Thursday, January 12, 2006

The Office
Pam:"You cooked...your foot."

Yesterday I found myself at the dentist against my will. Pregnancy screws with your teeth, people. Anyway, usually I have no problem with the dentist, but for some reason I felt a lot of anxiety today. As I sat there with my mouth open, I wondered silently, why they play that god awful music at the dentist. It didn't calm me, so much as made me want to punch Peter Cetera in the face.

O.G.'s advice? "If you feel scared, just tell them, 'I want to go home.'" Sweet. Yet, retarded. That advice is similar to some she gave me when I told her that it's annoying driving with the sun in my eyes. "If the sun's in your eyes, just pull over and wait for the sun to go down." Brilliant. So if you see me pulled over on the side of the 405 at 10 in the morning, don't sweat it, I'm just waiting for nightfall.

auf wiedersehen!

3:30am feeding - watching Project Runway. It reminds me of architecture school. Where you have 20 designers in a room and you can tell who are the 'stars', who are the ones that are just 'good' and who are the ones who aren't going to make it. Very interesting. I also like walking around saying, "You're either in, or you're OUT!" in Heidi Klum's accent. No one finds this as amusing as I do, unfortunately.

When I worked for a big name firm, I went to Century City mall for lunch everyday. Just recently, it went through a complete remodel. Upon Nanette's suggestion, I headed over there, since she said it was worth checking out.

The best thing about that mall is the "Family Room" in the new food court. I popped my head in there and was shocked! Euro-changing tables, free diaper wipes, toys for the toddlers, private nursing rooms, a kiddie-sized toilet, and if that weren't enough, a flat screen tv with non-stop cartoons. I could stay in there all day! Finally malls are starting to figure out that moms with kids are their best clientele, and if they cater to us, we will shell out the cash at their stores.

The concept of this new food court is an alfresco style - dining experience. It's pretty cool, although moving the food court upstairs proves complicated for a woman with two strollers. But I hoofed it along with the best of the hipster moms. How do I know they were hipster moms? They were the ones with the $900 strollers and the Prada diaper bags. So, surrounded by these hipster moms, studio execs and general slackers without jobs, I enjoyed the hell out of my Wednesday afternoon in the sun.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

I would go out tonight
but I haven't got a stitch to wear

I have been teaching the Kid about 'pockets.' You put things in them. Money, marshmallows, what have you.

This has gone totally awry as now he thinks any opening in clothing is a pocket - and he has been putting quarters down my shirt. I hope this isn't an indication of a strip club habit later in life.

Monday, January 09, 2006

"Look at his cartoon face and his hair, he looks like a Fisher Price man."

I've got Morningwood. Seriously. It'll arrive in my mailbox any day now. Chantal rocks.

Tivo is my friend at 3am. I have been watching The Robinsons, non-stop. I love it. It's nice to watch a comedy that's a little different, but still can make you laugh out loud. Oh and um, it has Martin Freeman in it. Did I forget to mention that's the reason I watch it? Of course.

This weekend I took the Kid to get his haircut at the Yellow Balloon, a kid's salon. There's something about a place that specializes in kid's cuts that makes me feel more comfortable. That way if he screams, no one will care. He didn't, thank god, but that was probably cause he was sitting on my lap at the time of the cut, which in turn, covered ME in hair. Ick.

So, sad to say goodbye, but the Kid's hair is super long, and the mohawk has to go. He gets nothing but compliments on it, and people are shocked to find out that I don't use gel or anything, it is just naturally 'hawk-y.' Now it's gone. If you ask him, "Where did your mohawk go?" He'll say, "All gone." Like he just ate an ice cream or something. .

Sunday, January 08, 2006

“I like ballet, I love the novels of Proust, I love the work of Alan Delon, and I think that’s what influenced her buying me Hat FM."

Highlights from O.G.'s birthday party:

1. My brother saying he asked for his IN & OUT Burger, "Animal style." To which O.G. responded: "I don't understand your kid's LINGO nowadays."

2. My uncle proudly singing the entire Green Lantern theme song in one breath, which only elicited blank stares from me and my cousin.

3. O.G. and the Kid, going through the bag of dvds we brought over, and saying, "What do you have in here kiddo? Thomas Train, the Wiggles, 40 Year Old Virgin..."

4. Eating pie.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Cowboy bebop


I'm pretty sure it will become something for the Kid's birthday. Yikes, he turns TWO next week!!!

Thursday, January 05, 2006

I'm on medication. VOMIT-cillan.

What makes life better? One, watching the Office. The whole Pam + Jim deal is heartbreaking. John Krasinksi has that Martin Freeman thing going on, where he can just give one look and you know what he's thinking. It makes me weepy.

What else makes for a great day? Three inch heels. There's something about the extra height that gives you a new perspective on things. I felt better, happier...taller! A whole 5'4", baby. I could actually look down on people, well, not many people, but I ran into a short man today and I felt pretty good.

85 years ago, today? O.G. was born. She has informed me that I will be buying her an In & Out burger and a slice of pie on Sunday.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

"Let's get some f*ckin' french toast!"

That stork that dropped these kids off? I'd like to kick his ass. Perhaps it's post partum depression. Or the fact that I have the mother of all backaches. Or that I slammed my finger so hard today, that I no longer have feeling in it. (It was the middle finger, insert your own joke here.)

Whatever it is, I feel like crap. Just awful. My friend warned me that going from one kid to two would be hard, but seriously, I have help and I am still struggling. This is ridiculous. There are times when I feel like I can totally handle it, and then times (like now) when I don't think I was supposed to be a mother. Really. I am insanely impatient and have no tolerance for noise. I love my kids, but I'm just not good at it.

Sometimes I'd like to just run away and start a new life. This is not an option. Maybe I should just shut down this blog and start a new one under an assumed name and 'pretend' I have a different life.

I'm sure all this venting is just because the baby decided that he and I only needed 1/2 hour of sleep last night. So it was me and the baby watching '40 Year Old Virgin'. I don't think he got half the jokes, cause he wasn't laughing.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Feel it on your fingertips

Yesterday was the storm of the century for Los Angeles. My s-i-l and I were stuck in the house all day with the two kids. For 9 hours straight, (I'm not kidding) we watched the entire season of "Biggest Loser 2" on Bravo. By the end of it, I was hungry. Is that wrong?

My "size 4 sis-in-law," (that's her birth name) decided that she needs to go on that show. One dude lost over 100 pounds. My sis-in-law proclaimed that if she lost 100 pounds....she'd weigh 10 pounds. Cut to me rolling my eyes.

All these people on tv losing weight and what do we do on the first sunny day out? Why, go to Krispy Kreme of course! This here is the official donut of January 4th.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

all is quiet, on new year's day

Ok. Here's all the stuff I cooked on New Years Day.
Go to flickr for complete details.
But here's the basic rundown:
Spam Musubi
Glazed Chicken Wings
Chicken Long Rice
Spicy Shrimp with Mandarin Oranges
Kuromame (for health, success and joy)
Tazukuri (for good harvest/business)

Oh, and we had a chocolate fountain. Although I don't know how "Japanese" that is. We spent the rest of the day watching the Iron Chef marathon. My brother thinks that battle "EGGO waffles" is a fine idea.