Sweet little girl. I prefer. You behind the wheel. And me the passenger.
Cause I got a new shirt.
And I'm leaving you.
After a long AIM conversation about boobs, cabbage and the number 7, (don't ask.) I decided to write down 7 random things, for no reason whatsoever.
1. Why is it that whenever I get into the car, Incubus is on the radio? I get it. They are local. We are supposed to love them. At this point, I feel like Brandon Boyd is stalking me and wants my love child.
2. What kind of a kisser are you?
3. Like Batman? Listen to Adam West on Kevin & Bean where Ralph talks about showing Adam his Batman collection...and the fact that he arrived to his wedding...in the Batmobile.
4. It seems that I wasn't the first to corner the market on the new 'cabbage bra'. Look at that pot pie recipe, no really, stop looking at her boobs and look at the recipe - what in the f* is FAUX CHICKEN? Wouldn't that be called 'ficken?'
6. I have lost 15 pounds in the last 7 weeks (oh...7...scary). Eating ice cream and doing a whole lotta nothing sure pays off.
7. I have tried to buy tickets for this tour in two different cities. Both sold out. Shucks.
Jesus, it's 1:07am. Seven again! That's a sign. I should be sleeping.
So I was reading this article in Parents magazine about this woman who had plastic surgery. I was pretty much anti-plastic surgery til I read this article. Now I want it. Sort of. Maybe not.
This woman had twins and got so damn huge, that afterwards, she had lots of tummy/skin left over. She exercised, lost 30 pounds and it still remained. She got a tummy tuck and now looks like her pre-pregnancy self. If that was the end of the story, I'd say sign me up, cause I look like crap. However, the story goes on to detail how the surgery is performed (where they cut you), they advised her to get lipo too while she was at it to 'even her shape out,' and the kicker, the fact that it costs $10,000. Her husband was like 'no way', so she got her mom to pay for it. That all seems a little ridiculous. Just live with it already.
So while I am not exactly happy with the way I look,
1. I can buy a sh*tload of shoes with $10K
2. I don't want to end up looking like Kenny Rogers.
HAVE YOU SEEN KENNY ROGERS LATELY? Good lord. I liked his face before. It had character. Now he couldn't even pass for one of those guys on the 'men who look like Kenny Rogers website.' Sad.