Thursday, November 30, 2006

Careless whisper

Man, a lot of my posts lately have been about buying junk. Obviously I am knee deep in the Christmas shopping. Soon to come...baking.

When I go to Victoria's Secret I always say, "Give me the biggest size you have." It's an easy way to cut right to the chase and get my shopping overwith. Luckily I have never had the problem that Nanners had, cause I usually have a child in tow, and I wanna just get in and get out. I will tell you that shopping with an infant is easy. Throw em in the stroller, you are good to go - seeing as how they will be out for about a 2 hour nap. Easy peasy.

But with a 2.5 year old? FERGET IT. Now that they can talk, it's a whole different story. Especially when you go into Victoria's Secret and he yells, "Mommy! LOOK AT ALL DA BOOBS!" Er. Speaking from experience. Maybe.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

You're the one for me fatty

I picked up the Baby from daycare. He got a 'note from his teacher.'

Bring more snacks? Are you kidding me? I just brought a big ol' stash the other day. Turns out he ate three day's worth IN ONE DAY. That boy never stops eating. It's his favorite pastime.

Meanwhile the Kid's note reads like this: "Lunch: Ate 1/4 of a sandwich. Two olives." Good lord. Jack Sprat and his hungry little brother, right there.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Time, time, see what's become of me

Working from home. The mere mention brings about images of sitting in front of the computer sipping morning coffee in your underwear. Uh. Scratch that scenario, there is no way in hell you will catch me in my underwear. I have a paranoid fear of a fire, or natural disaster, or something that will make me have to hightail it outta here, thus leaving me caught with my pants down. Literally.

For me, strolling into the office in a skirt and heels with my decaf peppermint mocha in my hand is definitely the way to go. I know that working from home is supposed to be helpful, supposed to be easier. Turns out it's just one distraction after another for me. Here's a short list of the things I did today instead of working while at home:
  1. Take the Baby to the doctor. I finagled my way into an appt this afternoon. Rushing him in there I got nothing but questionable looks as my cries of, "He's dying of a 102 degree fever!" were countered by a thermometer in the bum that read 98.5. Damn Baby. Now he's just screwing with me.
  2. Laundry: one load of kids clothes
  3. Laundry: one load of sheets & towels
  4. The Kid wanted muffins, so I baked a batch of pumpkin chocolate chip ones.
  5. Laundry: one load of adult clothes.
  6. Washed the dishes.
  7. Made crock pot chicken long rice for the Baby. Nothing tastes quite as good, when you are sick.
  8. Folded the laundry.
  9. Went to Target to pick up the Baby's prescription. The doctor gave me that 'Back again??' look.
  10. Got the Baby to drink whole milk instead of formula for the first time ever. He loved it and asked for it by name, "JUICE." Well, no one said he was a genius.
  11. Went to pick up the Kid at daycare. He was still wearing his sherpa hat. All day, apparently.
  12. Played with the kids. (note: I passed out on the floor for like 7 minutes. They were both still alive when I woke up.)
  13. Fed the kids dinner.
  14. The Baby's fever comes back, with a vengence.
  15. Washed the dishes, again.
  16. Bathed the kids.
  17. Made the husband dinner.
  18. Folded more clothes.
  19. Took a shower.
  20. Did the nightly 'two books, one song' thing, and put the Kid to bed.

Someone told me recently that they thought I had twice as much time in the day as everyone else, seeing as how much stuff I get done. Looking at this list, I only WISH that was true. Now, with all that done, I can finally get to 'work' and prepare for my meeting tomorrow. Luckily it is at the office and not at home. So I can wear pants.

This little piggy went to market

Let me tell you about my excellent day. It started with the weekly Sunday breakfast. I made the Kid pancakes, with whipped cream, and his new 'piglet sprinkles' that he picked out from Surfas. I also keep sprinkles in my purse, just so you know. Cause letting him go crazy with the sprinkles is the only way I can get this Kid to not be so heroin chic. (I want ALL OF THESE, by the way.)

After we ate, we headed out and went shopping for puzzles. The Kid is crazy into puzzles right now. He started off with a 10 piecer, but that proved to be unchallenging. So I moved him up to a 20. Nothin' for this kid. Now he's on a 45 piece, still no biggie. I am tempted to get him a 1000 piece but who's going to clean that sh*t up? Me that's who. So we'll stop at 45.

When we were out and about he said his ears were cold. So I got him one of these sherpa lined hats. It was especially effective in the frozen food aisle of Whole Foods. We got stopped on the street plenty, for people to ooh and ahh over him. Very cute. Being a shy kid, he was having none of it, so we went on our way.

Once home, I made him quesadillas for dinner, gave him a bocha (bath) and did our nightly 'read two books and sing one song'. I told him to think happy thoughts and to tell me what made him happy. For those keeping score, I was number one and somehow Nanners made it to number 5. She better not overtake me, is all I'm sayin'. Now he is zzz-ing peacefully.

I realized that spending the ENTIRE DAY together makes his tantrums go away. I mean, I knew that, cause he's a serious mama's boy. But it's not feasible. He has to go to school and I have to go to work and he's not going to be hanging on to my leg at the Whole Foods like today, 30 years from now... er...right?

(Where was the Baby in all of this? Well, home with Daddy cause poor kid had a 102 degree fever.)

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond.

Believe it or not the streets were pretty empty this weekend. I was shocked at my ability to travel the freeway so easily. If only every day were this desolate. I could get a lot more done.

I went out to Melrose, I used to go there regularly in high school and haven't really been back since. I wanted to go to Paul Frank and Kid Robot and saw SO MANY cute things I wanted. Since I was out that way I thought I'd take the Kid to get a hot dog at Pink's. Motherf* the line was at least 4 rows deep. Christ. I'll just make him a hot dog at home.

So we headed to Beverly Center, since we were out that way. Again, surprisingly light as far as parking and traffic. I must say, the new 'adult' Hello Kitty store, (that does not mean what it sounds like) Momoberry, is freakin' awesome. I dunno. I just have a soft spot for the design of Sanrio stuff, and seeing a Hello Kitty necklace made out of diamonds for $4000 is fascinating to me. However, it took all my energy to not buy the waffle iron - which was 50% off. You know how the Kid adores when I make him Sunday morning waffles.

My goal for the day was to get the kids to take a picture with Santa. No go. The Kid FREAKED when he saw him. I thought he'd grow out of that by now, sheesh. And it wasn't even the Beverly Center's HUNKY SANTA! Oh well. I guess this year I'll just have to photoshop the kids on Santa's lap.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

I'm bringing sexy back

I am petite. This does not mean I am small. It does mean I have trouble finding pants that fit just so. Most pants are made for tall girls with curves in all the right places, or short girls with no curves at all. I happen to be a short girl with curves, which is not an ideal body type.

So I was shocked and amazed when I found these pants at Nordstrom, BB - Billy Blues. They fit LIKE A GLOVE. I mean seriously, I have never worn pants that were so amazing. Even though I have to tailor them a good 4" off the bottom (shut up) they still look perfect. They hug curves just right and make you look at LEAST two sizes smaller than you really are. They are sexy, but not tight, slimming and very comfortable, perfect for work. They are on the pricey side, $88 - $55 when they are on sale (at which time I bought two pairs) but so worth it. They will last forever.

I'd post a picture of them, but no one wants to see my ass, seriously.

Friday, November 24, 2006

The grabbing hands...

This year we had a much smaller gathering than usual. There were only 7 of us adults, but that doesn't mean we cut back on the food. Good lord, no. The table was still FILLED.

The Baby ate like a champ. Turkey, mashed potatoes, corn, anything you can think of, he tried to eat. The Kid on the other hand, satisfied his Thanksgiving hunger with a handful of cheerios. *sigh* He's on the supermodel diet.

He did contribute though. He helped make a Fried Chicken Salad, and he insisted that there be two tiny bowls of marshmallows on the table. For what reason I have no idea. I have a few recipes which I will post sometime next week.

click on the image for all the 'notes'

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Jive turkey

The only way, I repeat ONLY WAY, to make a good Thanksgiving turkey is to brine it. If you learn just one thing from this blog, that'd be it.

Happy Thanksgiving.


Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Michael:"Today, I got up, I stepped onto the grill, and it clamped down on my foot, that’s it. I don’t see what’s so hard to believe about that."

So I've been reading these stories that people sent in to Martha Stewart, telling about their "Worst Thanksgiving Ever." GOOD LORD. What is wrong with these people? Some things include burning down the house, carving a turkey and having the knife slip - slicing directly into their hand, a thief climbing into a child's bedroom window to go steal a turkey from the freezer, and finally - basting a turkey only to have their hair catch on fire. What in the...

Have you ever had such problems? I have never had a holiday as bad as those. The only 'incident' we had was the year that O.G. INSISTED that we have something green to eat on the table. She was so pushy about it that my cousin announced that we should all boycott O.G.s peas, just because she was so annoying. And we did. No one ate the peas. Oh how we laughed. I think she took all of us out of her Will that day, but dammit, it was worth it.

Monday, November 20, 2006

My mom thinks I'm rad.

I wonder if I can get Mountain Dew to sponsor The Baby. Not for him to do anything like extreme sports, not yet anyway. But mainly just to wear a 'do the dew' t-shirt to help pay for his food bills. Seriously. The Baby is insane. He likes to scream out like Tarzan, climb onto ANYTHING and jump off. He pays no mind to the pain that is caused from banging his skull against something, cause he's hardcore like that. He is an x-gamer in the making.

Meanwhile the Kid is shy. Insanely shy. Fiercely smart, and amazingly artistic. The two of them make quite the odd couple. I bought this pin for the Kid at the Paul Frank store. I didn't buy one for the baby cause, well, he'd probably try and shiv somebody with it.

The Kid insisted on wearing it to school which made the teacher laugh. It's all true. I do think he's rad.
Also, do something good this holiday season. I am going to do this, not only cause I get a discount, but because people need winter coats.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

It's 8pm Sunday night and I'm going in to the office about 10 minutes after I finish this post. Don't ask. The whole weekend has been like this. Well, not the whole weekend. I did get a chance to do a little crafting. Nothing major, just something for the Baby's birthday.

Hard to believe this baby was born on Thanksgiving one year ago today. Now that he's at daycare, they have little 'celebrations' for birthdays. You can't make cakes or things too sugary, so there goes my grand baking plans. Instead I made more of these little personalized boxes for his daycare class - similar to the pirate party ones. They are so fun to do, and quick too. I put biter biscuits in there, which is as good as cake, to a one year old.

Hopefully the other daycare babies will appreciate them. Seeing as how babies can read and all.
Or not.
Happy Birthday, little turkey.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Purses. Foiled again.

Yeah. I got another one.
Apple with fangs?
Y. to the E. to the S.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

I'm always one step ahead.
Like a carpenter.
When he's making...stairs.

I dunno what to say. I feel kinda hurt, a little confused, and sad. The Office definitely had funny moments, but...maybe there are just too many characters now. I need next week to be really good, is all I'm saying. Someone needs to fix my tiny broken heart.
Some people think I should suck it up about Pam and Jim and instead laugh at Lazy Scranton. LAZY SCRANTON. Good lord. Meanwhile 30 Rock had me laughing my ass off, as usual. Love that show. Screw this. I know what you want from me. Recipes.

Miso Butterfish.
1. Miso. Yes, this is the same stuff that makes miso soup. Which, true fact, I cannot stand. It's the way the soup forms into that little mushroom cloud, it grosses me out so much...nevermind.
2. Butterfish. If you aren't from Hawaii, it's more commonly known as Black Cod. Butterfish is so named, due to the way the fish actually melts in your mouth it's so yummy. Yeah. It's that good. Especially when you lather it in miso and sake, well, that's just heaven.

I first saw this recipe on Ono Grindz. It's basic. Easy. And darn tasty.

Miso Butterfish, RECIPE.

some people want diamond rings,
some just want everything

It's that time of year again. Time to 'start thinking about the crap I want for myself' time of year. It's a fun list. Even if you don't get any of it for Xmas, you might just buy it for yourself to make your day a little happier. Hell, I may just buy some of these things this week.

Simple Shoes 'Combover' Tote - $85
Cute. Backpack-able. And what sold me was the little hole for the iPod phones to come out of. COME ON WITH THAT.

Great White Soup Tureen - $40 now $32 ~ Pottery Barn
I have been making soup by the truck loads and I'd love a nicer way to display it. This is the only soup tureen I approve of, simply because of the pure simple style of it. And hold on, the motherf*er just went down to $32. I want it. NOW.

Frank Gehry Torque ring. 18k rose gold. $1,650
You either love him or hate him. I adore the work of Frank Gehry. More than that I love the new piece he's designed for Tiffany because of the architectural elements in them. This ring in particular. The sculpture of it, but mostly the rose colored gold. It makes me wanna faint. However, so does the price, so I think I'd go with the same ring, but in polished sterling silver. Better price range.

Williams Sonoma - Kids' Silicone mat + rolling pin
Holy crap. I want this...FOR ME. It's small and pink. I *heart* it, big time.

The Office, season 2 - dvd
"I want more than that." Need I say more?

Best of Depeche Mode, Vol. 1 (cd/dvd)
Yeah, yeah. Yet another comp. But I buy EVERYTHING they put out, see, so really, how can you argue with me? Please don't. I'm tired. And cranky.

Williams Sonoma - Railway Pan
Ok, fo' real, yo. I need this pan. You know how my Kid loves trains, and I - well, love cake pans. I can't wait to play with this...

That's it. There's plenty more, but you know. Let's not go crazy.
Just yet, anyway.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

boxing day

I came home to find a GIANT ASS BOX on my doorstep. We are talkin' HUGE, here. No return address, so I have no idea from who, or where it came from.

I open it to find it is filled with toy trucks. I am sorry, I'm a bit disappointed. I know it's the Baby's birthday, but dammit, I thought the gift was for me. *selfish like that*

I had visions of shoes, Kate Spade purses, or cupcakes, all inside this 6' tall box. Which leads me to ask you - if you found a giant box on your doorstep, what would you wish was inside of it?

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Shop til you drop

Well believe it or not, Christmas is right around the corner. This year I am a part of the Indie Collective Holiday Guide. My featured item is the 'Signature Set - notepad+cards'. This item was a big hit last year, as it seems personalized gifts are always fun.

Also, clippings is planning on featuring some of my items as well. It's a nice site dedicated to cool things. Aw. She might be saying I'M COOL!

And just to show you I care, I am going to clue you into a little promo I have going on. Buy ANY custom item and get a mini set of Signature cards for yourself, absolutely free. You can try 'em out and see how you like them. This promo runs from now til December 15, or until I drop dead at the post office. Which may be sooner than we all think.

Take advantage. Free stuff rocks.


A little less conversation

Our house. 5:30pm. Sitting at the table. Eating dinner. The baby in a high chair to my left. The Kid in a booster seat, to my right. Basically, the three of us, eating in silence. Until the Kid leans over and says...

The Kid: "So. How was your day?"
Jenn: (me, cracking up) "Uh...good?"
The Kid: "Good."
Jenn: "Um. How was school?"
The Kid: "Good."
Jenn: "I am glad."

Mind you, he's TWO.

Monday, November 13, 2006

let's play footsies

Back to shoes. Let me tell you about the BEST SHOES EVER MADE. Goodness. I am not really one for athletic shoes, but when I do need to walk about, I want something cute but moreso...COMFORTABLE.

I found these - "Simple Shoes" at Nordstrom's. I was on a quest for black sneakers, but comfy ones, not necessarily pretty ones. However these are BOTH, easy on the feetsies and how cute are they?? These 'Sugar-Cork's are retro, very cool, and not a bad price point at $55, honestly. More than that, SUPER COMFY. My lord, you can walk for days and not get one blister. Awesomeness.

My new fave shoes. Go get some.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Listen up, people. I have news. We are all screwed.

I really don't have much to day about the Office. I'm not happy for obvious reasons, but I am holding my breath for next week.

The Kid has declared that he loves me "more than armpits." I have no idea what this means, yet I am extremely flattered.

I don't have much to say blog-wise. So you know what that

When I was little my mom used to make 'potato chip' chicken. Greazy potato chips on greazy chicken, what could be better? Well I found something better, minus the greaz factor. This here's a recipe for Cap'n Crunch Chicken. Yes, the cereal. It makes an amazingly sweet crunchy chicken, that is oh so good. Give it a try and tell me what you think. I was pleasantly surprised.

Cap'n Crunch Chicken recipe, HERE.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

If the shoe fits

Many times I have commented on the perils of pregnancy and the havoc it wreaks on my beloved shoes. How I went from a size 6.5 all the way to an 8. I have been holding steady at a size 7 for the past 2 years. Well blah blah, freakin' blah. You'll never guess...MY FEET HAVE SHRUNK.

No joke. What the...? I went to the Nordstrom's Anniversary Sale, cause god knows I need more shoes. I see many lovely pairs, grab a handful of them and hand them to the salesgirl proudly, stating, "SIZE 7. ALL of them, please." I sit and wait for her to return from the Bermuda Triangle, aka storage room. Soon after she appears with teetering boxes of gorgeous heels and flats, and my heart is giddy with anticipation. I try on one pair. Hm. Too big. Then another. Same thing? Then another. How in the...

So I bite my lip and shyly say, "Um, can I see these...ALL, in a size...6.5?" God how horrible. I didn't want to make her go back in the storage room of death. She might never come out! She reappears, only this time, with just one pair. Apparently size 6.5 isn't readily availiable in any of the styles I have selected. *sigh*

This is weird, you see. When I put on that one pair of 6.5s they fit like a glove. I was literally swimming in the 7s. So odd. How did this happen? When did this happen? And is it going to stop or am I going to end up with only peglegs?

Don't even get me started on what pregnancy does to your boobs. You don't want to know.

The purse girl hits everything in my checklist: creamy skin, amazing breasts. Not for me, for my children. The Schrutes produce very thirsty babies.

So my email tells me, THE RIGHT BRA CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE. If that is the truth, then sign me up. I am stressed to the max and if a bra can turn my life around, then dammit, bring it on.

Once clicking on the link for this 'magic bra' I find out its only selling point is the fact that it's Oprah's Favorite Bra. Eh. That ain't doing sh*t for me unless it's attached to a car.

If this bra was really magic, it'd make the terrible twos go away, make my squeaky voiced-head cold disappear, and go to the kitchen and make me a root beer float. Cause that right there? That's a magic bra.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Take me I'm yours, now I'm comin' up for air

Every morning I do yoga. It helps with my stress, and evens me out before sitting in front of a computer all day. Lately, it seems I am getting lazy with my routine. This site has a ton of poses, with explainations and pictures! Very informative. However this particular one is making me crack up. Cause you know, without the animation, we would just never know how to do it. Of course, 'Corpse' is the best pose of all. Zzzz...

I'm curious, what do you do to relieve stress? Eat? Fly fishing?

Monday, November 06, 2006

He's the cheeky one

My head and nose are so stuffy I feel like I'm going to pass out. So tired...

I need to play lotto. LIKE RIGHT NOW. I told you before, I am lucky. Very very lucky. I go to Vegas specifically to MAKE MONEY.

The other day I went to the Thomas Train store, there was a little box that said, "Enter to win tickets to see and ride on Thomas Train." What the hell, sign me up. No biggie. But as I was filling out the form, something hit me... and I thought, "I am totally going to win this thing." I have no idea why that popped into my head, nor did I really care whether I won, frankly. So I fill out the form, and pretty much forget about it.

Cut to last night. I check my cell phone, and the message goes..."CONGRATULATIONS! I am happy to tell you that you are the winner of four free tickets to go meet Thomas Train..."

So there you go. I told you. I rarely lose.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

...a pirate's life for me.

I woke up this morning sicker than sick. Luckily, the kids were fine and dandy, all set for the pirate party. I went through most of it in a sinus-y daze, but I had fun and I think the whole thing turned out well. People seemed to really like the pirate theme. My only complaint? I didn't have time to eat much. However the few bites I had were DELISH.

The baby was really happy and not too overwhelmed, considering there were around 100 people there. The best thing was being able to see friends that I never get to spend time with anymore. Now we all have kids. It's craziness.

I put up a bunch o' pictures on flickr, if you want to take a look. I told everyone to enjoy it, as this is my LAST child and my LAST party. Whew. Time for zzzz...

More pics, HERE.

Friday, November 03, 2006

What does a dyslexic pirate say?

I can't believe it. Finally this party is here and man, am I beat. I may just fall asleep right in the middle. Colds are clearing up, I think we are going to be a-ok for tomorrow.

favor boxes for the pirate party

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Don't invite any zombies to celebrate Diwali

While nothing really 'happened' in this episode, I would say the most interesting part was the fact that Mindy Kaling wrote it.

But really, all I wanna know is...WHAT DID PAM TEXT TO JIM? Any guesses?

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Yo ho..*hack* Yo ho... *cough*

What can I tell you. The pirate party is three days away and this house is full of SICK. The baby is sick, having to use a breathing tube thingie every four hours. The Kid was called home early today with a 101 fever. And me, while losing my mind, I also have a sore throat. Not to mention the inlaws aren't feelin' so hot either. Dammit.

I have recipes (from non-sick days) for you, but I have a feeling you are recipe'd out. We have three days to get well, after all this build up, or the party will go on without us. I'm sure it will be fun. You all let me know. *cough cough* I hope to OD on Sprite and candy corn and wake up and realize this was all a dream.