You only tell me you love me, when you're drunk
The Baby woke up crying at 4:30am. I gave him a popsicle to shut him up. I just realized that was a horrible mistake and he will now expect it every night. Dammit. I am an idiot.
Since I was up, I cleaned out the pantry. Threw out old stuff, anything with an expiration date that says "Good until 2005" probably shouldn't be fed to the Baby, I'm guessing. I also found a giant bottle of Vodka which is so odd, because I don't even drink. Or maybe I do? Am I too drunk to know? Am I drunk now?
I put the giant bottle on the ground next to the trash. Mistake, again. I heard sloshing and looked up and saw the Baby had ambled over there, spoon in hand - (where the hell did he get a spoon from anyway?) trying to get the top off. No pictures of that here, I don't need child services on my ass. On second thought, maybe if I gave him Vodka at 4:30am, I'd finally get some sleep around here.
True fact: Monkeys like Vodka.