Fra-gee-lay. That must be Italian.

I have decided to cut one of my legs off. No, it's not so I can go on Dancing with the Stars, although O.G. would totally vote for me cause she called in for Apollo Ohno TEN TIMES! It's only cause she thinks he's hot. She's a pimp like that.

No, I had an allergic reaction to mosquito bites. I am considering calling in sick to work and simply saying, "Gots the West Nile Virus, see ya." My right leg is pretty ugly, like I have the world's worst sunburn...in one spot. Yesterday I could barely walk. Today it seems like it's getting better.

Normally my legs look ok, but I'm wondering what I can put in its place once the right one is gone. An umbrella? A bicycle kickstand? Maybe something functional, like a giant flask. Who knows.

I just hope it goes away soon the so the Baby stops pointing at me and going, "OUCHIE!!" You're tellin' me kid.