Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Life is so strange. Destination unknown. When you don't know. Your destination.

I am packing to take the boys on a trip. We will be riding on a plane. I have a master plan to make this a perfect situation. Honest.

Hour one: DVD player. Thomas, Barney, whatever will capture your little brain's attention, I will give it to you.

Hour two: Snacks/Food. For the Baby, this will work for the full hour. For the Kid, two bites and he's over it. This is why they weigh the same.

Hour three: Naptime. We're talking for ME, here.

Hour four: Toys. Coloring books, thomas trains, puzzles, I got 'em all in my carry on.

Hour five: CANDY. Say what you will, I just need to get this plane to the gate, and a mouthful of candy should make for an easier taxi down the runway.

I know that when I board, I will get 'that look' from the childless couple, not the nice childless couple, but the jerk ones who give you the eyeroll. Let me tell you, my kids are 100 times better behaved than your little heathens will be if/when you decide to procreate. I'm doing my best and if you don't like it, you can stick your Sky Mall catalog up your a$$. This ain't no picnic for me either.

Labels: ,

14 Comments:

Blogger Nanette said...

JustJenn's justkids are justperfect! I puffy <3 them!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007 10:09:00 PM  
Blogger Gerta said...

I've flown transatlantic with 2 kids by myself...it ain't pretty, but very do-able. I like to tell the jerky people that they have to watch the little one who's seat is separate from mine - just to see the look of terror on their faces!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007 11:55:00 PM  
Blogger Jodi said...

There's always Benadryl®.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007 12:08:00 AM  
Blogger Jesser said...

We got heckled at San Fran Int'l airport because the guard put us and our stroller menagerie through a special line. "I could have a baby" was one of the comments I most vividly remember. "Fine, then have one," my mom says. Stupidest bit: they still got thru line before us. But you know that if we had been in the same line, they woulda been bitchin cuz we were taking so long to fold up the stroller and take the baby out, etc. GEEZ. I suppose people just expect you to stay at home once you've had kids. Cuz god forbid they're "inconvenienced" one little iota. Hmm... looks like you spoke to me with this one. ;)

Wednesday, September 12, 2007 5:43:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When I flew with my kids (then ages 4 and 2) to the Carribbean, I bought some cheap toys from a dollar store, wrapped them up with a lot of tape, and gave them to the kids every now and then during the flight. It took them awhile to open the package and then enjoyed their toy. It saved my sanity. You can put a price tag on that.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007 7:13:00 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

The same people giving you sh** are the same people that were never kids, right?

Anon, I used to do that too. But now you can't take any wrapped items on the plane in your carryons... booooo!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007 7:24:00 AM  
Blogger Kim Dilsaver said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007 7:59:00 AM  
Blogger LostinPlace_KimD said...

I just ranted about this on my blog. It kills me how people can be so insanely rude. Because they've never had any experience whatsoever with children? Please. If they didn't grow up with siblings, they at least grew up themselves. Hmm... or maybe with their attitudes, they didn't?

Good luck on your trip! I hope it goes as smoothly as can be and you get no dirty looks from the grumpy people :)

Wednesday, September 12, 2007 8:04:00 AM  
Blogger tesilein said...

I hate the preparation for trips with kids: weeks of picking out toys that might possibly entertain one or the other for more than 5 minutes. It's exhausting. And why does it always seem like everyone else's children are sleeping on flights when mine need to go to the bathroom, want a toy we left at home, or are simply bored and need to be entertained?

Wednesday, September 12, 2007 1:13:00 PM  
Anonymous kat said...

I am giving you a dirty look right now.


I'd recently told someone anon's suggestion for long driving. Family friends did that for my folks when we were little. Maybe just put the stuff in a paper lunch bag and let them pull one out every once in a while...

Wednesday, September 12, 2007 2:12:00 PM  
Blogger the slackmistress said...

Just bring something for the baby to get his head stuck in! One down, one to go!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007 7:05:00 PM  
Anonymous dee said...

My son had night terrors on the red eye to Seattle last year, that was fun. he was climbing all over me crying for mommy while sleeping. Some guy kept turning around giving me the stink eye. I wanted to ask him, 'really, mister, you got a solution?' 'cause if i wake him up, you're gonna know some real crying.'

Thursday, September 13, 2007 11:59:00 AM  
Blogger Rokes said...

Hmm...a five-ish hour flight. I wonder where YOU'RE going?!! :)

Monday, September 17, 2007 12:17:00 AM  
Blogger Yum-e said...

"...purple candy, swirl candy, rainbow candy...hate all of it."

LOL - coudln't resist.

Friday, September 21, 2007 6:12:00 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home