Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Miss Teschmacher: He can't see through... lead!
Lex Luthor: And Kryptonite will destroy him. Any questions, class?

Blergh. I was joking about saving the environment. Perhaps I need to resort to putting "j/k xoxo :) :P" after every not so funny thing I write. Yes, yes, I suck and I hate the Earth. I am in construction, I destroy and rebuild things for a living. Not only that I drive my car half a block a la Steve Martin in L.A. Story. And if that's not good enough for you, those 50 baby seals I clubbed yesterday oughta do it.*

Lately I have been consumed with wrapping gifts. It's quite therapeutic, in that it takes my mind off work, which has been causing me much grief lately. The wrapping, the paper, the bows, it takes my mind off things. I stacked all the gifts up in this vacant armoire that I have, it's like my own little mini gift closet!

I only wish they were for me. I hand out a ton of gifts every year and rarely get any. Probably because I am on the Naughty List for serving my kids lead flavored candy canes. Boy, you people just don't let up, do you?

Here's the thing, if you have a problem with lead - the next time you go to the dentist, try getting x-rays WITHOUT the lead protector apron. Mhmm. Yeah. That's what I thought.

*To be fair, those seals had it coming. "j/k xoxo :) :P"

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14 Comments:

Blogger Darlene said...

Dude. You did NOT just write the word armoire. It's the only other word that makes me cringe besides the word panty. But I'm just weird like that.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 9:21:00 PM  
Blogger the slackmistress said...

Um, how many lead trees did they cut down to create that wrapping paper? You deserve a good linking.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 9:21:00 PM  
Blogger justJENN said...

Darlene: You are f*ing nuts. I hope you get a panty armoire for Christmas.

Slack: I used the baby seals to wrap those gifts, IN YO FACE. Er. Wait...

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 9:26:00 PM  
Blogger Jodi said...

Mmmm...I just ate a baby seal club sandwich.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 11:27:00 PM  
Blogger Nanette said...

I'm getting a fake tree made of baby seals!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007 12:12:00 AM  
Blogger Caveman said...

Well..I'm getting a fake baby seal made out of dead trees

Wednesday, December 12, 2007 5:26:00 AM  
Blogger APlanet4Creation said...

Sorry about the comments that came out in your last post. For a moment I thought I was reading a Greenpeace blog ;P

Wednesday, December 12, 2007 6:18:00 AM  
Blogger Jen14221 said...

JustJenn is a nut not b/c of the baby seal clubbing, or the lead-based candy canes that she buys in bulk, but because she has an EMPTY ARMOIRE. Who has an empty armoire? I have so much shit that if that armoire were in my house, it would be stuffed to the gills with kid crap. Or panties.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007 7:48:00 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

Instead of a fake or real tree, you really should've just got yourself an aluminum pole. Then you could share with your kids the Airing of Grievances, instead of traditional presents. My money would be on the Baby in the Feats of Strength competition, however.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007 8:15:00 AM  
Blogger mamafabun said...

Not the candy canes! Is nothing sacred or toxin-free anymore?!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007 8:50:00 AM  
Blogger deanna said...

At least you didn't have what happened to MY tree this Christmas!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007 8:51:00 AM  
Blogger Carol Browne said...

Blech. Panties. I hate that word. Along with moist, ointment and neckerchief. Ew.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007 2:08:00 PM  
Blogger Michael said...

I love lead. Whenever I play Clue, I'm always hoping it's the lead pipe in the conservatory. That'd be my weapon of choice. And murder site. Good thing I don't have a conservatory 'cause it'd be a bloodbath.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007 3:56:00 PM  
Blogger Our Man Horn said...

My dad had a vintage Clue game from his youth (1950s) that had all-lead weapons. Except the rope, which was -- wait for it -- twine. I musta sucked on that lead pipe, candlestick and revolver for hours as a kid and me am unaffected.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007 7:21:00 PM  

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