Your shame is never...ending.Just one psychological drama after another

Hey, you thought yesterday's post was depressing, it doesn't get any better today, yay! No, it's not a 'woman' thing. I just feel...down. I think because I have a block. Not an Immodium block, a creative block.

I feel like I've hit a wall creatively and I can't seem to climb my way out of it. I have a million sketches in my head but when I am faced with a blank slate...I just sit there. I've been staring at this same blank page for 2 hours. I guess I was hoping that something would magically appear. It hasn't.

I have a deadline looming. I feel like crying. The only thing keeping me happy is making TONS of these:
I found these itty bitty mini Nilla Wafers at the market. Mini doesn't describe it, these things are near invisible. So cute and tiny. I put a mini scoop of ice cream inside and made teeny ice cream sandwiches. Come over if you want some, I don't even eat them, I just make them. TONS OF THEM. I think I keep hoping that if I make enough of them, my creative block will clear up. So far...I am knee deep in these things. ~sigh~

All right, look, there's only one "Return," okay, and it ain't "of the King," it's "of the Jedi."

Another year gone by. I've got to say, this was probably the best Comic Con I've been too. Maybe because I've learned my lessons over the past ten years of going, so much so that I am now organized. I know what I need to see and what I need to avoid.

It was almost heaven. No waiting in horrific lines. No traffic. I got to see all the panels I wanted to. Saw tons of artists. Tons of movie stars. Met up with lots of friends. Spent waaayy too much money. It was excellent.

I baked cookies and took them down to all my friends. However I wasn't smart enough to pack any for myself and ended up eating one meal at 9pm. Oh well. Note to self: not eating + intense heat = Jenn gets a migraine on Saturday. Ugh.
There are many tales to tell, and if you want to hear them send me an email. But for all of you who are only mildly interested, you can check out my set of flickr sets and see all the funtastic exciting things that I did. See pics, here.

Tokidoki booth at Comic-Con

More on the Con tomorrow. Man, I'm beat.

...but that's OK, because she was old and she would have died anyway...

If I died tomorrow, it wouldn't matter much. I wouldn't be missed really - anyone can do what I do, I'd probably be easily replaced at my job too, things would go on.

Except for toast. I am the Queen of toast. I make it so that it is perfectly browned. Crispy outside, chewy inside. I butter it ever so slightly - just for flavor, nothing more. Then I sprinkle it with just the right amount of sugar - so you get a sweet crunch in every bite. After that, I cut out perfect little shapes - per whatever cookie cutter my sons have their hearts set on that day.

I am good at making toast. Yep, there's no one like me.

Free love on the freelove freeway

See this baby-jumper-walker-thing-a-mee-do? I saw one on the side of the freeway today. Just sittin' there. No baby, mind you. Sure it could have fallen off the back of a truck, but as I sat in traffic my mind prepared a mental backstory that had the baby scooting out of the house, getting onto the onramp, waiting her turn for the green light of course. Then merging cautiously and effortlessly into freeway traffic all in her bouncer.

Of course after getting into the number one lane she finally gave up and dumped the thing, hitching a ride with someone cruising along the carpool lane.

This is what I think about while I am in traffic. I am in traffic a lot.

Fra-gee-lay. That must be Italian.

I have decided to cut one of my legs off. No, it's not so I can go on Dancing with the Stars, although O.G. would totally vote for me cause she called in for Apollo Ohno TEN TIMES! It's only cause she thinks he's hot. She's a pimp like that.

No, I had an allergic reaction to mosquito bites. I am considering calling in sick to work and simply saying, "Gots the West Nile Virus, see ya." My right leg is pretty ugly, like I have the world's worst sunburn...in one spot. Yesterday I could barely walk. Today it seems like it's getting better.

Normally my legs look ok, but I'm wondering what I can put in its place once the right one is gone. An umbrella? A bicycle kickstand? Maybe something functional, like a giant flask. Who knows.

I just hope it goes away soon the so the Baby stops pointing at me and going, "OUCHIE!!" You're tellin' me kid.

You say potato, I say f*ck you.

I thought Rachael Ray was annoying. I was wrong. This woman is.

I have started watching television again. I successfully stayed away for almost a year with a few exceptions here and there, but now, now it seems they - the powers that be - are doing their best to make sure that I have a fat ass and eat bon bons all night.

Most of these horrible shows I preview on the internet then email my friend Woodsy just so I can hook her on them too and not feel so bad for wasting my time. First up - Scott Baio 45 and Single. He wants to know why...he's 45...and single. Uh, just watch the clip, you'll know why.

Next: The Two Coreys. Ever wonder what happened to Corey Haim AND Corey Feldman? Yeah, me neither. The only clip worth watching is THIS, making me wish they called the show, "When Coreys attack", cause then they could get Corey Hart and Corey...uh, hm...nevermind. Here's the full 7 minute preview, if you dare.

Finally: World Series of Pop Culture. Hot damn, I love this show! Let's just say I totally swept the Brady Bunch category AND the Ferris Bueller's Day Off category, thank you very much. I'm pretty good up until the mid-nineties, then I just turn into that old lady who's like, "Maroon who? Never heard of 'em." All I need are two more teammates and I am golden, baby!



Man, it's just too hard to avoid being a couch potato these days. I give up the fight. Take me couch, I'm yours.

Best Week Ever

I went to a party this weekend, which is rare for me. I met people I knew and people who...knew of me. It was nice. I took a Watermelon Bombe, cause hey, a melty bowl of ice cream is the best hostess gift....ever...? Hm. Also - check out how many times this picture has been viewed. Insane.

Let me tell you about this upcoming week. It's going to be CRAZY.

1. The in-laws arrive for a month's stay. Look out for posts on, 'What my MIL has broken today,' 'What new racist word they've used for any minority that isn't them,' 'How insanely fat I've become and how can I even stand myself.'

2. The annual COMIC CON trip. I rarely say where I am going, but I am telling you now, I will be there. Find me in the sea of 150,000 other nerds, I dare you. I had to give back my table for this year, but I am SO prepared...for next year. Damn, I'm a poor planner.

3. Two days away from my kids. Which is a relief but slightly sad when they hold on to the gate and shake it a la King Kong while screaming, "Don't leave me, I love you!" It makes me sad, but it also makes me feel like a zookeeper.

4. This week I am making cookies. Some of you will get them. Some of you will not. But for those of you who like free stuff I do have another one of my famous (not really) giveaways planned. It's not cookies. It's not stationery. It's good stuff. It'll be sometime next month. I'm sure you can guess when.

Free play

My fashion sense is a little whack, and my friends are just as screwy as me

It's a blogger's paradise out here. I just realized that over the next few weeks, various events will have me hanging out with other blog-world people. Some I know, some I don't. I think for me, it's kind of disconcerting, only because I go to great lengths to make sure that no one knows who I am. It's like a witness protection program, only no one's looking for me.

So when I meet these people, I tend to just sit in the corner and keep quiet. Cueing people to say, "You aren't nearly like what I thought you were from you blog." Er...thanks? I guess you looked me up on the internet and found out that I swear like a sailor did you? The funny thing is, nothing seems to piss people off more than when they find out that I cook/sew/design things every night, after my day job and the kids. What is so wrong about that? I don't know what it is but people get violently angry. Hey man, just because you spend your time watching crap tv, don't get on my ass about how I waste my time.

I watch crap tv too, fo' schizzle. I watched the Beckham: Coming to America special and loved it. And not just because I love me some big ass sunglasses. The show made me laugh, I love seeing my city on display and her giant boobs didn't scare me. I mean, the woman had 3 kids. After two kids, I am in need of some serious plastic surgery too, trust me.

So if you happen to see me in the next few weeks - stop and say hi. I'm not all that awful. I'll be the girl in the corner wearing the big ass sunglasses.

She's a replicant, isn't she?

Hey, do you live in Boston? Yeah, me neither. But if you know someone who does, let them know that the one and only Magpie in Davis Square will now be carrying my goods. Hooray!

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Usually I never get any nice packages so I have to send crap to myself. Then something like this happens. I ordered something from amazon and someone stole it. That is my only explanation, as it says the items arrived on my doorstep AND I signed for them! News to me!

I am pretty pissed off because obviously there is a Clone JENN out there signing for post office packages, and taking my junk. Phooey. I will hunt you down Clone JENN and punch you in the face! Then again, it could be to my benefit. If I did have a clone, what would I have her do? Hm.

1. Resize all my shoes because apparently my feet have shrunk and I am now a 6.5
2. Run a few miles to burn off the ice cream that I just ate.
3. Find the perfect pair of short-shorts that I've been coveting and buy them.
4. Go up to that guy who was driving next to me yesterday and tell him that leopard skin seat covers in a convertible is wrong, just wrong.
5. See #1 and find out if I am a midget.
6. Clean up the kids poop. I mean, when does one learn to wipe their own ass, for god's sakes? Not soon enough.

If Clone JENN read this she is probably half way to Mexico right now cause really, who would want to do this stuff? Run Clone JENN. Run like the wind.

Sweet dreams are made of this

I took today off. Between a series of various appointments all day, I took my mom to tea at Jin Patisserie on Abbot Kinney.
Delicious and gorgeous as always. Other stops included the Japanese market, the comic shop and also Surfas to buy a whole bunch of non-essential yet I want it, kitchen stuff. I got some amazing things, only to come home and find this on my doorstep...
A birthday present! For me! Nevermind that it is a month early - I now have a year's supply of sprinkles. Hm. That means I'll have to use them. Anyone want cupcakes?

Foiled again.

How can two kids be so different? All the teachers at school say that the Kid is their favorite. They say he is smart, always says 'please' and 'thank you' and is polite to the other children. They wish they had ten of him in their class. Meanwhile....(you can guess where this is going)...

I took the Baby to class today. He strides in like he owns the place. A little girl eating breakfast sees him and just starts screaming, "NOOOO...GET AWAY!" What the? The teacher looks at me and says, "WELL, he's kind of known for eating everyone else's food." Great. So I've got the a-hole kid, is what she's telling me.

It's true. The Baby loves to eat. It is the only time he is truly happy. (Hello, eating disorder.) One thing both kids love is Giada's food. Everytime I make a dish they eat it up! We are Italian like that. So I've been going through her cookbook and next up was a fish dish. I was wondering how they'd take to it and the review from the Kid was, "MOMMY. This is GOOD FISH." The Baby said, "SLDKFHSDK". Dammit, when is that kid going to speak in proper sentences or even words?

I hope he grows out of this eating off other people's plate thing. Could spell disaster if he ends up working in a restaurant...

Giada's Baked Salmon recipe, HERE.

egg on yo face

Wow, I can't believe so many people don't have eggs with expiration dates. I must have robot eggs. AWESOME. Or I shop at Trader Joes. Whatever.

Jen asks:
"what do you consider the top few/requited kitchen appliances?"
Well - to me, if you use it often (once a month or so) then it's a necessity...to you. What I use often? My blender - about once a month. My ice cream maker - once every couple of weeks. My toaster oven - every day. My waffle maker (er, I have three of them) - twice a week.

Things that are collecting dust in my cabinets: shave ice machine, deep fryer, juicer. I am not a fan of tons of appliances, believe it or not. And I kind of winced when I got the soft serve ice cream maker as a gift. But I learned to make the most of it by bringing it out at EVERY DAMN PARTY EVER. So if you love your 1989 breadmaker more than life itself, then it's a necessity...to you. Otherwise, don't buy into the hype. You can probably get away with about 5 extraneous appliances, tops.

Emily asks:
"oatmeal snickerdoodle recipes - two ingredients were missing: baking soda and cream of tartar. Are they not needed due to the addition of oatmeal?"
Oatmeal has nothing to do with it. While I am surprised about the baking soda, not so much about the cream of tartar. There must be some sort of acid in there, I'd have to see the entire recipe to really figure out what is up.

"How do you organize your recipes?"
I had that same loose recipes problem. It was a nightmare. Now, all of my recipes are on the computer. Welcome to the future. They are organized by category: beef, chicken, etc. Or with subcategories. Under 'Desserts' - cakes, cookies, breads, etc. I also go through my cookbooks and put post-its on all the recipes that look good so that I can find them easier the next time. That's a no brainer, just thought I'd share.

Thanks for all the questions, it's always fun answering them. Send me more anytime. I'm sure I'll be back with some riveting content tomorrow. Talking about stuff like: Can you believe that "Next Food Network Star" episode ender last night?? Holy crap! I just tivo'ed everything and marathoned it all until last night and WOW. At first I wanted the French lady to win...then she seemed snotty, but the other one has way big toothy gum smile, I don't think I want to see that on HDTV....so I am back to the French gal...

"Food is fuel. You get picky about what you put in the tank, your engine is gonna die. Now shut up and eat your garbage."

Kitchen essentials. There are of course the requisite pots and pans. There are things you need for cooking. Things just for baking. I could make a ton of lists, as I am Queen list maker, but let's just stick to this unless you care to hear about the others. These few things will make your kitchen life easier:

1. The Santoku knife.

This is the only knife you will ever need. It is perfect in every way, from the grip to the way food doesn't stick to the blade. I can't tell you how much better your life will be if you had one of these knives. Nowadays you can even find them cheap.

2. Baking soda.
Great for baking, better for cleaning. I use it to clean my sinks and countertops and yes, I have used it to brush my teeth before.

3. A good spoon.
A perfect spoon can be used to mix batter, stir up spices or boil pasta. I just happened to see this fiberglass spoon at Surfas and was wondering, what the heck? It is amazing. Better than wood. Better than metal. Just plain awesome.

4. Kosher salt
I am not a fan of Morton Salt. You know the junk that comes in the blue container with the cute girl and the umbrella? Like the girl, like the umbrella, not so much liking the salt. Biggest peeve? It has iodine in it. You know how I feel about additives. Yeah, yeah, we all need iodine, like 100 years ago or if I had a goiter. I don't have a goiter.

No, I prefer kosher salt. It's large enough to sprinkle without over salting, and I generally just feel better about it. Even in baking, though others would disagree.

5. Kitchen shears
Absolutely necessary. I hope you aren't using plain old scissors when you open your packages in the kitchen. Please don't. The cross contamination thing scares the crap out of me. A good pair of kitchen scissors will allow you to open a bag or cut a chicken in two, if need be. But they should not be the same scissors you use to cut paper. Ew.

Well that's the short list. I am again, opening the comments up to cooking/recipe questions if you got 'em. (Obviously I have no content to post.) I am no expert, just a friend with advice to lend.

Let me leave you with one NON-essential cooking item. I love the useless just as much as the useful. I picked up this cute French ceramic egg holder - which is adorable, and since eggs now have expiration dates printed right on them, I can throw away those horrible egg cartons. Hooray. Now I can see all my little eggs peeking back at me in the fridge begging me to use them. Hello eggs.

Biggie size, here.

What?

Always bet on black

Seems like everyone and their mother has a blog these days and there is nothing worth reading. My own blog included. They are all the same and frankly I don't give a crap what you and your cat had for lunch today, thanks. BORED. Maybe I'm just cranky. Yeah. That's it.

When I was cleaning up my drafting table today, something caught my eye...

There's nothing like finding money. And then there's nothing like finding fake-money-that-makes-you-forget-that-it-is-real-currency that-you-will-readily-plop-down-on- the-nearest-roulette-table-willynilly.

I am insanely lucky. Why, just recently there was a giveaway at work, for a $300 task lamp. The minute they said it was a prize, I got this 'feeling'. I just knew I was going to win. And I did. I don't get that feeling all the time, so don't kidnap me and make me tell you lotto numbers, that's not how it works. Especially in gambling. I work best alone. Don't sit next to me and ruin my groove. I've won thousands of dollars when left alone.

You can tell a real gambler by the fact that I can't be bothered to cash that shit in cause I know that I will be back for more. The minute I found that chip, I got that lucky feeling. Time for a road trip. Too bad it's 116 degrees.

Hot pants.

Lately things that look interesting to me, in a magazine, on the internet, in a store, stuff that I see and think, 'Oh, that looks lovely, I'd like to buy that', turn out to be $200+. I'm not joking. I don't get it. Not even designer-y things that's you'd expect, like a purse or jewelry. Just...stuff! I saw shorts the other day and the price tag? $160. For shorts! RETARDED.

Then I saw a jacket I wanted. $220. Shoes? $170. Are you kidding me? Is this the new price point? As Mickey Parke would say,"SUMTHIN' WRONG WIT DAT."

If you had $200 and you could buy ONE thing, what would it be? I don't think I'd spend mine on shorts.

And we were never being boring, we had too much time to find for ourselves

As usual, I've got nothing interesting to say. Why do you guys keep coming back?? I'll only disappoint you and break your heart.

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Jodi got me linked on boingboing, which is nice. If only I had a counter on that recipe site I could see how popular it made me. *sigh*

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I took O.G. and the kids to Clifton's Cafeteria on the weekend. Good. Lord. That is some awful food, but the nostalgia was nice. (note: stay away from the mashed potatoes.) The kids loved the giant stuffed moose head, and played in the fake...chapel? Say wha? O.G. said that the roast beef tasted just like it used to...back in 1938. Ew.

See Franklin Avenue's review, HERE.

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There are new buttons for sale in the shop.

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Happy Birthday to Nanette. Here's your present. The best video ever.

You were the baby of the class you know, you really didn't know that one and one was two, two and two were four

I made chicken tacos for dinner. I have to show you this awesome mini iceberg lettuce I bought at Trader Joe's. SOOO CUTE. I can't stand it. The perfect size to cut up for tacos with no leftovers.
So, when I picked up the Kid from school today, the teacher took me aside and said that the Kid was amazing. The table was scattered with match game puzzle pieces, and apparently he had matched up all of the pieces in just a matter of minutes. He had about 20 matched in front of him. I noticed the other kids were struggling to find just one match.

He's always been good with puzzles, when he was just under 2 years old he could do a 30 piece puzzle in no time flat. The teacher says that I should watch him, and that this is a sign that he'll excel in math. NERD. Oops. Was that out loud? This sort of scares the crap out of me. Now I have a mini Rainman on my hands. I feel like throwing cheetos on the floor and asking him to count them.

Meanwhile, the Baby has decided that wearing pants on his head - so that he looks like a mini Jar Jar Binks* - is an excellent idea...ALL DAY LONG. Good lord. Looks like his brother will be supporting the two of us later in life, with his excellent math skillz.

*Hello. Who's the nerd now with that reference?

That's Italian!

July must be the month for birthdays. We have a party every weekend. I'm not really a fan of gift wrap, unless it's a pattern that I truly love. I bought a big roll of butcher paper for $25 that I usually use for everything. That was...5 years ago. I still have a ton left! I love it! It's great for arts and crafts, mailing packages, and gift wrap. I like to keep it minimal white, with some nice ribbon. But if I am going to a kids party, I usually grab some crayons and let the boys have at it. Of course, I can't help drawing a few things on there myself. Hey, it's fun.

I had a lot of time to myself this weekend, meaning the kids took EXTRA long naps, which was awesome. Time alone meant I could finally watch the Food Network in peace. I also went through my cookbooks and tagged a bunch of recipes and made a few too.

I have been meaning to tackle Giada's Everyday Italian for some time. I made her Pasta with Asparagus, Mozzarella and Prosciutto. Man, was it easy, and the kids LOVED it. They ate a ton of it, which is always a plus. I like Giada. She doesn't annoy me in that Rachel Ray way - for one thing, Giada can actually cook.

Pasta w/Asparagus, Mozzarella and Prosciutto. Recipe, HERE.

Look now, look all around, there's no sign of life.Voices, another sound, can you hear me now?

On Earth. EARTH. You hear that people...of Earth? Check yo'self.

Restaurants were created to take advantage of the lazy. If you’ve got a forest and a lighter, you’ve got dinner.

People who do not live in Los Angeles don't understand why Pinkberry is so popular. It's simple. We as Angelenos do not like to eat full meals. Sure we have lots of great restaurants, but you know, when it comes down to it - most girls just want to eat non-food an call it a day.*

How many times have I seen people order fries and a diet Coke for lunch? EVERYDAY AT THE CAFE. Jamba Juice, Robeks, just a smoothie (loaded with calories I might add) it's all about not eating a meal. Cupcakes to fuel you through until you get to the gym? Yup. Mini ones? Even better. Or for lunch, just eat chips and salsa? Hey wait...that's me. I've just offended...myself.

Did you see that recent photo spread that showed 8 pictures of 8 different times that Reese Witherspoon had soft serve ice cream for lunch on the streets of Los Angeles? Is that supposed to be shocking? Why? Who cares?

It's not a diet, it's a way of life. So, Pinkberry for lunch? Yes. Who cares if you have to wait 20 minutes in line, this is how we eat, people. Even then, it's not even real yogurt. It's some f*cked up concoction that we willingly pluck down our well earned cash-money for and say, 'hey throw some fruity pebbles on that.' Oh. And strawberries. Wait. And mochi. Oh...I could really go for some non-food right now...

*Is this a generalization? Yes. Absolutely!

On the stairs, I smoke a cigarette belowMexican kids are shootin' fireworks below

Does everyone have the day off after the holiday, but me?? Man. Unfair.

You know that woman who takes her kids to the movies and like right in the middle they start acting up and you want to scream, "Hey you kids, shut the f*ck up!" Yeah. That was me. The WOMAN, not the yeller! Yikes. I took the kids to see Ratatouille and all was good, until about 1.5 hours in. Dammit, I wish that movie was shorter or there were no previews cause then I coulda been home free. But no, the kids weren't having it and we disturbed the whole place and I felt like an a-hole. Great.
Better times than the movie was going to my Uncle's annual 4th of July BBQ. Previous years we have had a root beer taste test, hot dog taste test...this year was BBQ Potato Chip Taste Test. There were 7 unmarked bags of chips and believe it or not the winner was Target Archer Farms brand. Huh. Go figure. Crappiest? Ralphs brand and Lay's KC Masterpiece. Interesting stuff. I am now completely over bbq potato chips. Who knows what we'll eat next year.

More 4th of July pics, HERE.

It's the bombe diggity.

While it may sound like I'm a food snob, I am not. Any peek into my living room window at 10pm will show you that a bag of Funyuns and root beer equals dinner. When I lament the world's use of box mix it's because of the ingredients. If you are going to bake, you should use quality ingredients.

Except for the occasional spam musubi, I like to make sure that my kids are eating things that aren't man-made or god forbid, made in China. I mean good lord, none of the stuff that comes out of there is regulated and read this article, it's ALL going into our food. It's not that hard to cook with food that doesn't use triglycerides as it's main ingredient.

What I am a fan of, is the Breyers brand of ice cream. Simply for their simple ingredient philosophy. Check out these ingredients. Not bad. So I bought ice cream this week for my annual 4th of July ice cream bomb. Only the good stuff, I assure you. (Also, if you've watched Alton Brown, you know that cheap ice cream melts faster because it's all air. Gross.) Like I said. I don't make everything from scratch, I'm not Amish for Christ's sakes, I just don't like box mix.

Watermelon Ice Cream Bombe recipe, HERE.
Happy 4th.

What is it you need, that makes your heart bleed, do you really know? Cause it doesn't show

Hey. Being at home is boring, I gotta say. I got nothin' goin' but answering questions around here.

DC said:
"So, you're probably a root beer connoisseur! What is your favorite/what do you recommend?"
One year at my Uncle's house we did a 'blind' root beer taste test. He got 20 different kinds, we tried them all (labels hidden) and believe it or not A&W was the winner. It's a generally good sweet taste that satisfies all palettes, so all in all it's a fine, fine root beer.

If given the choice, I always go with a bottled root beer. It has better flavor, better carbonation. My favorite of all brands (and believe me I've tried a TON) is Henry Weinhard's. It is the perfect taste with the perfect bite. Really just smooth and tasty. Especially when ICE COLD. Dear lord, I could do with one right now. It's damn hot!

Joyce said:
"have you ever tried making those microwave mochi recipes? if you have, did they turn out okay?"
Hrm. I am not a fan of microwave cooking anything. This from the girl who took microwave cooking classes in the 80s. Yes I did. With my leggings and belted sweater, thank you very much. So, no. I have not tried it. Stovetop, oven, yes and yes. I keep meaning to see if the microwave will be just as good, but I haven't stepped up to the challenge. Let me know.

Myra said:
Not only do I use box mix, but then I spread can frosting on it and top it with those sprinkles that look like, gasp, polka dots!
Myra. DEAR F*ING GOD. Step away from the bake mix aisle, please. I will be your personal baker if you'd just stop using that crap. Look at the ingredients in that can of frosting! Just eat a plate of garbage and call it a day.

...what is the difference between cupcakes, muffins and biscuits?
Cupcakes are basically little cakes. Sweet, moist, delicious. Topped with a well deserved dollop of sugary frosting* (see above question).
Muffins are more bread like. Same shape, same pan, but while they can be sweet, they can also be fruity, savory and nutty. Meaning, you most likely wouldn't eat a bacon onion cheese cupcake, but you would eat a bacon onion cheese muffin. Make sense?
Biscuits are again, bread like, but breads use yeast (someday I will regale you with my hatred of yeast) biscuits do not. Most biscuits use baking powder or baking soda to give it that chemical reaction. Biscuits are usually soft with a slightly harder crust. I like mine with butter and honey. Some people - usually Southerners eat them with gravy. OH. And fried chicken. OH and mashed potatoes. Damn I am starving.

If you have any more food/cooking questions, send them my way. I'll give you the best answer I've got filed into the useless space that is my head.

Oh, give us a drink and make it quick or else I'm gonna be sick, sick all over

Yep. I'm home again. The flu fairy came back for another visit. Having to take today off, Wednesday off (I don't get paid) and Friday off (jury duty) means I will be flat broke this month. I need to go stand next to the 7-11 and wait for the laborer truck to come pick me up.

The Kid is sick too. He was excited to 'pee in a cup' at the doctor's office. They also took his blood which was way traumatic...for me. What do you do with a Kid who's home sick? Why take them to pretend Disneyland of course. I sat him down in front of youtube (don't worry, no porn) and he 'rode' rides all day.

Here are some of the Kid's favorites.
Casey Jr.
Alice in Wonderland.
Splash Mountain.

Another excellent thing for sickness is jello. Sure it's just horse hooves, but it's TASTY horse hooves. Especially when you add Sprite.

Sparkly jello recipe, HERE.

I'm gonna hit you so hard that when you wake up your clothes will be out of style.

Body aches. Chills. Shakes. Dry heaves. An excellent way to spend the weekend. Not. At. All. I got the flu - and I'm sure I got it from this. Man. It killed me. I haven't felt that awful in I don't know how long. I couldn't eat or keep anything down for 2 days. Then I started hallucinating about food. I dreamt of prime rib and mashed potatoes with asparagus. Which is weird cause I don't even like prime rib. Then I'd wake up in a sweat, go back to sleep and dream of peanut brittle. Odd.

The worst thing about being sick was that I missed a most excellent baby shower - with, get this -150 guests. For a baby shower! It had a full Chinese food spread too, not that crap at the corner mini-mall, good authentic tasty Chinese food. There was even a full roast pig, head and all. Um. That part scares me. Anyway, this flu seems like it was a 24 hour thing. At least today I can walk. Except it's so freakin' hot I can barely lift my fingers to type this.

Before I go cool off somewhere, let me leave you the greatest movie never made. I'm off to find some peanut brittle...