He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
So, the Kid had a tooth out. He put it under his pillow - then went to sleep. The next morning he came running into my room and said, "MOMMY! The Tooth Fairy...forgot my tooth." I sat right up. Son of a biatch.
Then the guilt gets worse. He says, "I think it was my fault for putting the tooth in a box. She is so small she couldn't lift the lid." I agreed it was most likely his fault and that he should try again. Heh.
Hey, look. The Tooth Fairy? She's busy. Tired. She was probably doing laundry, washing dishes, making cinnamon rolls, filling stationery orders...I mean. I'm assuming. ~ahem.
The next day he tried again - this time, tooth OUT of the box. Lo and behold - the Tooth Fairy came. And out of complete and total guilt she left him a big prize, a golden Sacagawea dollar. I knew he had found it when I heard screams of delight at 6am. Now he is obsessed with getting all of his teeth out so that he can get more 'golden coins'. I've created a monster. A small toothless monster.
Then the guilt gets worse. He says, "I think it was my fault for putting the tooth in a box. She is so small she couldn't lift the lid." I agreed it was most likely his fault and that he should try again. Heh.
Hey, look. The Tooth Fairy? She's busy. Tired. She was probably doing laundry, washing dishes, making cinnamon rolls, filling stationery orders...I mean. I'm assuming. ~ahem.The next day he tried again - this time, tooth OUT of the box. Lo and behold - the Tooth Fairy came. And out of complete and total guilt she left him a big prize, a golden Sacagawea dollar. I knew he had found it when I heard screams of delight at 6am. Now he is obsessed with getting all of his teeth out so that he can get more 'golden coins'. I've created a monster. A small toothless monster.
7 Comments:
ROFL!!!! You made him think it was his fault! Ha!
I wish I had teeth.
Great. I hope you, I mean the Tooth Fairy, gives enough of those coins to pay for implants.
He should make those gold coins into gold caps for his new teeth. Suh-weet!
Sacajahodeho?
Sachmo?
Saca(hmrnrkh)...
on the opposite end of the spectrum, my kid is right this minute finding out the tooth fairy doesn't pay for routine cleanings and maintenance anymore...
I teach first grade and was working with a small group; we were reading a "decodable" to help them with their fluency. I noticed one suddenly closed his mouth, and I saw a silvery object which he took out of his mouth and put in his pocket. It was his tooth. (many of my students have had "baby root canals" and the crowns used for baby teeth are silver)
I sent him to the nurse, saying: "That's your tooth. Don't put it in your pocket. Put it under your pillow."
Kids these days.
ah, my son too! though instead of waking up at 6:00a.m. woke up at 2:30a.m. and was excited to find money under his pillow...screaming for his dad to show him...and then going back to sleep.
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